Don't want to be alone anymore

[SwampMonsters]

I'm at a point in my life where I don't want to be alone anymore. I have spent years alone and I'm so lonely I keep craving a partner or relationship, I don't know how so many people claim to be happy alone I find it really lonely and miss having someone who cares about me. I want to spend the next year concentrating on finding a partner but it will be online dating as I don't meet anyone irl, is it possible now in my late 30s to actually find someone? I keep feeling like I'm too old now and it won't happen for me anymore..

You're in your 30s!! Ofc you can find someone

I'm late 30s now, most people have found someone by now.

You’ll find someone. Plenty of people looking for love, you just have to weed through the time wasters first.
I am seriously considering starting a marriage bureau. So many people I know of who are looking for a life partner but don’t want to waste time and energy on OLD. I’d rope in my sister who has mad meticulous MI6 level Google skills to research people are who they say they are.

I don't mind using OLD it's the easiest way to meet someone these days!

@SwampMonsters Ah well, there you go. You’ll find someone.

My mum remarried in her late 50s so Ofc you could possibly find someone

Op of course it’s not too late! I know so many people that found love later in life as often the first relationship starting from school we barely know ourselves.

You need to figure out what you want your life to look like and your incompatibility issues. Don’t be shallow here - think deeply about how you might grow old with someone. Do you picture a shared hobby every weekend, or more quiet life laughing at tv together, or an adventurous time with lots of holidays to exotic places. Then think about your hard lines - you want a man responsible with money, good with his kids, kind etc etc. You are looking for your best friend, not a chancer guy looking to play the field. And know your own worth - can’t stress this enough! If you go in with rock bottom self esteem it will make it worse not better! Do therapy before if you feel you need a self esteem boost.

Then OLD is the best way to go these days for those over about 30 really id say. But don’t go for free services - the subscription type services with a decent upfront cost and big questionnaires asking about personality types by far rule out the weirdos and a lot of fake profiles! But some weirdos will still be there. Don’t share too much about yourself before meeting in person - people lie terribly online and there are total scam profiles who are trying to do romance scams. You need to be sensible and savy here and rule people out. Treat it like a job hunting or house hunting exercise - you are looking for an important part of your life. Make sure you don’t let lust or loneliness dominate any thinking. There is no mills and boon online dating. If you go into it without your head screwed on it will burn you. But go into it sensibly and you will meet someone! 90% of my friends in second relationships met in OLD. Best of luck!

Being late 30's doesn't make you any less appealing to a partner. There are plenty of 30- or 40-something singles looking for love.
Feeling sorry for yourself, being deflated and hopeless. Having a victim mentality. Those things make you unappealing as a partner. Has nothing to do with your age. Luckily. Because you can't change your age, but you can stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Thanks all. By the way no victim mentality I know sure where that comment has come from, basically I just can't go through life alone anymore it's just not what most people want so need to make an effort to find someone now

@SwampMonsters totally feel the same, and im older!