DM says she is "bored of life"

[PurpleSky300]

So - my DM is 65, her partner is 70. In recent weeks, she has been saying that she is bored of everything - they go to the same pubs all the time, they see the same people, watch the same things on TV, her DP is set in his ways and won't do anything new etc, they argue if she tries to suggest different things etc.

I feel for her because it does sound dull but at the same time, I don't know what she wants? The life they have now - where their main social activity is the pub, gambling for him, takeaway now and then, Benidorm every year etc - is what they have done for 20 years. They've never been much interested in restaurants, cinema, theatre, hobbies - if she wanted that kind of life, she didn't say it. So now his attitude is "this is what I like and I won't change."

She says she has started to feel "one foot in the grave" and she wants excitement. I don't really know what to say. Is it hard to start again at that age? Is life ever really that exciting for anyone? I feel like she needs female friends and time away from the pub, not necessarily a new bloke. I don't know.

The only age you can’t start again is when you’re dead. She could be alive for 30 years yet. Time to start doing stuff she enjoys. Definitely agree with joining clubs, volunteering etc. Is she retired? The same holiday every year sounds very boring. Hard to know if life will be better if she leaves her husband. Only she can decide that.

Well you don’t have to say anything - it’s not your problem to fix. Also she’s 65, she’s more than capable of making her own decisions.
That said the obvious solution is she looks to do new things without her partner.

Does your mum do anything without her partner? Does she have friends of her own? I would encourage any woman in her 60s who doesn’t already have a wide friendship circle to look for ways to get out and meet new people, eg U3A, WI, Facebook friendship meeting groups, activities at local churches, community centres, leisure centre etc etc. Not necessarily looking for close friends/soulmates but people to get out and chat to. it may seem a horrible thing to think of but nobody lives forever so horrible though it is for anyone to lose their partner, if someone’s whole life is around them, it must surely be a lot harder. Also important to keep as fit as she can and look into her own interests/ hobbies to do within her home.

The poster saying it’s not your problem to fix is right, but, given that your mum has voiced that she’s not totally happy it’s far easier to maybe make some suggestions now while she’s still relatively young to take on new interests and experiences than to be faced with your mum alone and unhappy in later life .

Im 66. The last year has probably been one of my most satisfying and fulfilling but no-one has come knocking at my door.to make that happen. I've had to take those steps on my own initiative.
She needs to take responsibility for herself OP

I second U3A and groups. My mum is recently widowed at 62 and has really thrown herself into groups - U3A, walking, running, now learning Italian. You're only as old as you feel.