Disagreement about a MOTORBIKE

[mrsQKR]

Long story short, my husband wants to get a motorbike, I think its a stupid idea!
Its causing little bickers.

We used to save together but its gotten to a point now where I think separate savings is better simply because if he wants to treat himself I wont be so pissed off ? and I just think its a waste whereas ive always been more sensible with money.

Family and household life will never be last and everything is paid for and the kids are always provided for first without a doubt so the motorbike essentially will come out of the half of what we saved ( we split it )

I still just think its a stupid idea, but he has always loved motor bikes so instead of it causing agro ( which it has done already) do i just let it go?

In general we are pretty solid and work well as a team and I know people need their own things and we cant just go about life just working without treating ourselves on occasions. Although I'm the sort of person that feels guilty about even buying myself new clothes! I dont know why stupid really so maybe this is why I'm annoyed ? Because hes essentially treating himself and I think its selfish? But in theory is it really?

Opinions please. Am I just being a dick?

Both my OH and I have always ridden motorcycles (as did our parents & wider family) so wanting one I can understand.
We have both lost friends due to accidents but it has never put us off. We have both also had our fair share of spills so appreciate how easy it is to come a cropper and how important it is to be correctly dressed. Even a low speed accident can cause injury if incorrectly dressed.

Excellent point by PP about cost of insurance, clothing etc. We would ride all year (not fair weather riders!) and have clothing that costs well in excess of £1.5k (each). As a new rider his insurance could be quite high. Security is also important, he needs to factor in about £500+ for locks and/or an alarm.

The bit about following you so the kids can watch is just weird (although that is something my brother would say!).🤔

How you run your finances is entirely your own affair.
We have joint finances and both of us put in or take out as & when required, of course it is discussed but there is never any issue as we are both on the same page.

I rode big motorbikes for years and lived the biker lifestyle, went to bike rallies and so on. It's a bit of a drug.
I gave up when I had a hip replacement recently because it was time.
I married a biker so there were no arguments but I can imagine the arguments if one partner was anti bikes.
You only live once. I'd be pissed off if biking was my lifelong dream and my partner said no. But I hope you are also doing something that you love. I can look back at the end of my life and say yes I did do everything I set out to do.
Good luck.

I could have written the part about husband never had one but wanting to do it, mine had been on about it for ages, however I encouraged it, this past summer my hubby did his cbt, mod 1 and 2 and got his full licence. He’s since borrowed my dad’s old Honda motorbike and used it to commute 30 mins to work while the weathers been good. It’s good to take on new challenges and achievements and saved us a fortune in fuel running a 500cc Honda to work instead of his juicy bmw estate car. Bit weird he wants the kids to follow in the car, mine liked watching daddy leave and drive down the road from our front drive the first few times he rode it but we’ve never tailgated him for a journey! I think a lot of men get in a middle aged rut and don’t have hobbies and it makes them really boring. I’d encourage him to take his tests and see how he gets on. There’s certainly no point in getting a bike until he has his licence though. Let him live a little ;-)

My husband wanted a motorbike, having not ridden one since he was a young teenager (we're both near retirement age). For me the problem was the risk involved. Even safe riders are at risk from drivers who don't look properly and don't see them. He's not an experienced rider who could spot problems before they happen. If he was only going to ride offroad it wouldn't have bothered me so much, but two of my friends were killed after being hit by drivers who didn't look properly. It was something I was very uncomfortable with. I didn't say no, but I did say if he was going to get a motorbike, then I was going to get a horse. He never brought it up again.

Plenty of my biker friends are dead now on the road. People in cars just don't look. I managed 40 years of riding without an accident but quite a few jump scares. I knew 60 was time to give up. Your reflexes and everything else are just not good enough after that I don't think. Some will disagree.

I'm not sure your issue is actually with the motorbike, tbh . It's that he gets to go off and have his fun time while you are parenting.

It's not unreasonable for someone to want a motorbike, but they have to appreciate that you may not have the both the time ,money and lack of other immediate responsibilities to mean it's the right time. It is also not unreasonable to not like motorbikes either
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Me and DH love bikes, we had bikes when we met but when we had our daughter we packed them in as we have very little extended family and understand the risks around riding motorcycles. Once she became an independent adult a few years ago we bought a bike again and are out enjoying ourselves whenever the weather allows.
I think he's a little selfish to ride with dependent children although I know a lot of people do.