Controlling?

[thankingyou01]

Go to play with the toddler.. I open the cupboard to take out small storage box of toys.. partner says 'just take out one toy at a time..'

Would you find this controlling?

Yes

Not really. To me this is common sense

I'd say it depends. Does toddler have form for flinging toys about and not really playing with them? Is partner going to have to be the one who clears up a room full of toys? Is the house already full of discarded toys that you are tiptoeing through?

I think this isn't enough to condemn for controlling behaviour.

Well not in isolation. I guess they thought it would make less mess? I would gather they might be a bit paranoid about tidying and stuff. But I would just say no, we are taking the whole box.

Not sure @Springtimehereprobably because he thinks it creates mess..

@Vroomfondleswaistcoathe plays with some of them - I always tidy the toys away but sometimes if we are playing at home like today on a rainy day there will be more toys out....

our relationship is tricky... and I currently question a lot of things he sais, even small things and find myself analysing them - trying to figure out if it's controlling, criticism or an insult.feels like a huge waste of time but can't really seem to help it at the moment.

e.g yesterday we were at home with baby.. I said 'I'm just going to clean the bathroom' I was holding the baby... he got annoyed and said 'I've asked you 100 times when you leave the put the baby down, he gets upset when you walk away. You just make up some excuse and do things how you want. Go and clean the bathroom.. that's another thing for you to obsess about'

On the strength of this, I'd say your relationship is over, whether control is involved or not. You just don't like each other very much any more.

Your first example... As part of a larger pattern, maybe. But as an isolated event, I wouldn't say it's extremely controling.

Your update... He's horrible and he talks to you like he doesn't love, like, care about or respect you. Which is horrible and I'm sorry you're experiencing that.
His tone of contempt alone is enough to leave a relationship over.

How do you feel about him?

What's he like if you go on a night out with friends without him or your DC?

Depends if it was phrased as a suggestion or a demand and what the reaction was when you said no.

Why do you want to take the baby with you when you're going to clean the bathroom. I'm sort of with him on that. It may sound controlling but I'd agree that unless you're going somewhere with the baby it makes sense to put him down while your busy.

@AhBiscuitsi was handing the baby to him so I could go clean the bathroom

I mean @BigFatLiar sorry 🙂