3rd date felt no chemistry

[Cherryblossom200]

Hello!

I’ve met a lovely guy, he is a vet and obviously very clever. Financially stable etc. First date he was very nervous, he is fairly shy when it comes to relationships so we went on a second date and I started to feel a romantic connection with him. Nothing happened, but it was a really good second date.

We went on our third date and I felt no chemistry at all, again he seemed very nervous. I find confidence very attractive, and when he talks about his job he is like a different person which is where I find the attraction. He kissed me and I felt nothing 🫣 I had no inclination to want to do it again! But he kissed me again before he left and it felt a bit better, but everything just feels very awkward on my side. He is sooo lovely and treats me so well, pays for everything buys me flowers. Life could be amazing with him, but it’s lacking chemistry.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt him x

Maybe one more date? Something relaxed so he’s more confident?

Dur to him being nervous, he may want to take it slow, maybe be friends and see how it goes. Stay in contact. Few more dates would be good to see how you feel but dont string him along

You’ve had a mere three dates and you’ve extrapolated he’s “wonderful” and “treats me sooooo well”

Calm down for a start

”life could be amazing with him” 😆

After date 1 you started a thread and said you didn’t think any chemistry

Are you just dating him because he's a vet?

Give him a bit more time OP, you sound as though you like him and respect him and have said you enjoyed the second date. His nervousness could be confusing how you feel so have a few more dates and then decide. Sometimes a slow burn is good!

And because he’s “financially stable…and pays for everything”, I suspect. Life could be amazing indeed.

I love animals so dating a vet would be great 🤣 but no that’s no the only reason, he seems like a really nice person. I’m used to dating absolute twats, all fireworks at the start and then fizzle out. So this is different and feels very odd to me. The slow burn is definitely the way to go, but I’m concerned I felt nothing when he kissed me. I don’t want to rip his clothes off, the thought just makes me want to run a mile as I think it would be so awkward.

I did say to him on the first date I prefer for things to go slowly as I’ve not dated for a while, so that could be why he might be nervous!

I agree with others. Relax a little and stop thinking too far ahead and just enjoy his company. You don't need sparks and fireworks straight from the off and you have only been on 3 dates!!

Don't sack him off yet, go out a few more times, maybe to places where you can relax more or have some fun together. The more relaxed he is in your company the more he will come out of his shell and you will either feel the shift in feelings or you won't.

Going on a few more dates is not stringing him along. You don't have to know immediately whether you have something or not. But a few more dates in and you will know whether this will go anywhere or not. If those feelings don't start to emerge then he is not the guy for you.

Thanks everyone, great advice 🙌 I have adhd (please be kind!) which he knows about. I think the problem is I overthink everything and feel I should know how I feel already! My ahdh means in the past I’ve gravitated to wrong men. I’ve stepped away from dating to allow time to try and work out what I’m doing wrong, I want to approach things differently. This feels different but way too scary! 🤣