Remember my thread about my mother and her expecting me to call her EVERY day and let her know my whereabouts?

[DrNortherner]

Well, I decided to play it cool and not call her every day and tell her what I am doing/where I am going.

I have not spoken to her for the past 3 nights cause weds was race for life, thurs was dinner with girls from work and last night was drinks in town and sex in the city at cinema. Whilts I was in the pub last night she called my mobile cause she was worried she hadn't heard from me.

I called her back this morning for her to talk about herself, and to pass comments about my social life. She asked what I had been up to, when I told her she said 'poor ds' What because I had been out 3 nights in a row and left ds with his Dad?!

I got angry at this so then she said 'I was only joking'

Then she said I really wanted to talk to you on Weds because I was really upset (about something totally unimportant) It is to make me feel guilty that I am not calling her every fucking day.

Then as the conversation ended she said in a sarcastic tone 'Well it's lovley to speak to my daughter every now and again'

Aaaaargh.

Don't even know what advice you can give - just venting really.

Wow, I'm really in the minority then. I speak to my mum, dad and brother most days. I quite like speaking to them really...

Mine doesn't call every day, nor do I call her.

But on the occasions I do call her I get a lump in my throat at the pleasure & excitement in her voice. She is always really pleased to hear from me. Even if it just to say dd is sick, I had a bath, dh is working shifts etc... she just loves to hear my voice.

I am not an only child. My mum had 8 children. A big full noisy house of rowdy kids, giggling teens, solemn twenty somethings, getting married & flying the nest.

Then after 40 years of bringing children up there's nothing but silence.

The least I can do sometimes is fill the empty space with my mindless drivel. When she's gone I will give anything to hear her asking banal questions on the end of the line.

In fact, my aunt died almost a year ago & my cousin still has her last voicemail & text msg from her on her mobile.... the text is a simple one: "Where the hell are you? I've been calling all day!!"

I call my Mother almost every day, sometimes we can chat for 30 minutes or so.

Other days it goes like this.....

Hello Mother...............

Hello LGJ........................

Any news ???

No, any your end ???

No, none this end.....

None this end either.

Talk to you tomorrow.................. in unison.....(if we have any news....)

Oh, WallofSilence, your post has just made me cry.

I can sympathise with this as I am going through the same thing with my mother at the moment. She can ring me up to 6-7 times a day at the moment always at bedtime or tea time then have snotty strops if I don't drop everything and speak to her.

My mum too rings my mobile if she dosen't hear from me even though she has spoken to me 5 hours ago and if I dare go out she wants to know who i've been with and all the gory details or panics if I dont answer my phone.

I'm feeling torn and very guilty about it cos my dads death anniversary is on friday and i dont think shes coping