When and how to introduce new partner to DC?

[CandyColouredEggshells]

Not sure if this is the right place to be posting. My divorce came through early this year, we’d been separated about a year at this point, I’d been casually seeing a “friend” who had turned into more than a friend but we didn’t make it official until about 6 months ago. Not because we were keeping our options open but because it was almost like if we said we were a couple it became a scary, serious, real thing.

Anyway, what I’m trying to get across here is we were taking things slowly because of how my past relationship ended but I’ve known him years, I’m very much in love and he’s so sweet and kind and I feel truly happy. He’s gorgeous and the chemistry between us is incredible, this really feels different.

I have 50/50 shared custody of DD with her dad (he moved his GF and her DS in with him as soon as he could so I don’t want things to be more confusing for her), but I want my DD and my BF to meet, and I have absolutely no idea how to go about it.

He has no kids, although his close friends and siblings do. I can’t imagine us making a big formal, awkward “come round for tea” thing out of it but at the same time because I only ever see him when she’s not there I don’t see how there could be a casual “say hi to BF” either. Help!

Only you know how you feel and every relationship is different. I knew within 6 months that Dh was going to be long term and I introduced him to ds about then.

The way you talk about the relationship, it sounds like you’re still in the”honeymoon phase”. There’s research that says this is normal, at the start of a relationship we have feel good hormones circulating our bodies. I believe this phase lasts up to 6 months to 2 years. Anyone who has been “in love” will recognise this. I personally would wait until the honeymoon phase is over until I introduced someone. It’s just my opinion, you can do what ever you choose.

i would want to know that a relationship was going to last. When I look back over the relationships I had that didn’t last, you go through those first few months even a year or two and everything seems idyllic and then you start to see things more objectively. I’d wait til that point.

My DH told his kids he was seeing someone (he told his ex first in case the kids were upset) and they were very curious to meet me.
We met about 2 weeks later - so they had a little time to think and ask questions. I think we met outside the house for a couple of hours somewhere.
I didn't stay over at their house when they were there too for a few months.

I was totally unaware of the 'date for more than a year' advice and Tbh we had been seeing each other maybe 3 or 4 months 😁😁
Worked out ok though. Still together 23 years later.
I was chatting with my DSD recently and she said she sometimes felt like a bit of a fraud when people talked about how traumatic divorce was on them as children. Because she said it just wasn't like that at all for her, things changed but life just carried on as normal. I took that as a compliment to us all. She was reflecting back as an adult and it wasn't upsetting or disruptive to her childhood.

I had never introduced my DD to anyone before not that I’d been in any relationships. However with my partner it was 6 months. She knew about him from
about a month in she’s not a baby she was 11. She used to make jokes about me actually having a partner. He has 2 kids 13 & 5. They knew about me too. I let her meet him casually. She went shopping with her friend he met me for coffee and she came over to say hi etc. then from there it was just casual. Went on days out then we introduced all 3 kids casually aswell days to the park and zoo, he stays 1.5 hours away from me so I went to his and we made it like it was a big sleep over and thankfully all 3 got on. However the 2 older ones were okay it was more the younger one but she’s a sweetheart. They love when we go over to stay. His 2 kids didn’t spend much time together because of the age gap but since my DD they do. They take the wee one over to the park and play hide and seek with her watch films with her etc. it’s a lovely wee bond they all have actually. It’s chaos but i
love it. I’d suggest a trip to the park with mums friend (obviously if you DD is young) if not maybe cinema or something but if she’s older like my DD just tell her you have a partner xxx

I started by telling them I was going on a date and kept it like that for a while. Then he would knock to pick me up but not come in, then he started coming in for a min while I finished getting ready.it just paved the way that I was seeing someone. Then he would just say hello to them as he waited for me. We didn't do anything more formal because my kids wouldn't care. They just need to get used to the idea