My man looking at women

[Crazyblondie]

Ive been though alot in the last few years and I've had lots of councilling as and when I've needed help. I was divorced and single for a good year in that time I met a guy who promised me things and made me feel amazing then went back to his ex and told me he wanted her..this shattered my confidence and made me feel like the ugliest women alive..not good enough..i found myaelf comparing myself to her.a year later I met this amazing guy..we get on amazingly and he takes me away treats me alot ,always doing stuff for me,always complimenting me constantly but I am always seeing him checking out other women,I think he thinks its sneaky with his reflective sunglasses on but I see it and its really effecting how I feel about myself,I feel not good enough and not what he wants.ive spoken to him about it and he reassures me he only has eyes for me and he loves me.Im not silly and know when your with someone we all look,we dont go blind but I feel if he sees someone he may find attractive he can't stop himself glancing over and it's effecting how one I feel about myself and two if I want to be with this person long term.i feel i cant bring it up again as it will push him away ,it makes me sound crazy
ive already said how it makes me feel and i am struggling with my confidence at the moment.does anyone have anyadvice moving forward.
Just to add this isn't a new relationship its a year on. I also have an unhealthily obsession comparing myself to women who looks stunning on Instagram.when we first started dated he seemed to follow alot of particular women's profiles which I discussed with him a year back I found it disrespectful.

My advice- stay single for a bit. You don’t need all this.

Calmly say to him that it really upsets you, if he's a nice bloke he'll accept that and stop doing it.

I think there are two separate issues here.
One may be the fact that he looks at other women. I don't actually know how overtly he's doing that and whether he's even doing anything wrong. Is he looking or staring? As in, does his head turn with them as he passes them, or do they just pass by and he notices them?
Same with the social media profiles. Are these just attractive women that he happens to know and has added on social media? Or is he looking up profiles of women he doesn't know, not for their interesting content but to gawk at their pictures?

Now, the second issue, which also clouds your judgement on the first issue, is your own self esteem.
You seem obsessed with other women, problematically so. And while I can empathise with what you went through in the past, it's incredibly unhealthy for you to carry on like this. This level of insecurity is not manageable in a relationship. It's bad for you and it's unfair to your partner, whether they are behaving properly or not.
You need help for your self esteem issues. Professional help preferably. You deserve better than to live your whole life in the shadows of other women, but your boyfriend also deserves better than a partner who needs constant validation that he's not going to leave.

Look, the world is an uncontrollable place. Beautiful people exist everywhere, and there will always be someone more attractive than you. That's just life. And it's something that you need to be able to deal with without obsessing over it.
Your partner may stay with you forever, but he also might leave you. That's also part of life. Trying to gain control over absolutely every thought he may have about another woman isn't going to change that fact. I would strongly advise you to get help in learning to manage your anxiety, so that it no longer controls your life and his.