What would you do

[Ehnssfglfl]

NC for this.

Bit of background but can’t say too much as don’t want to be outing.

Partner changed jobs around 1 year ago, previous to this he was a great partner. This job includes lots of travel & very long hours. It’s within a very high end industry and involved with very rich & famous people.

Since he’s had the job his entire personality has changed. I definitely feel he thinks he’s better than most other people now due to the job. He’s awful to me, he’s cruel, cold, selfish, but at times can still show the odd glimmer of the old person in there.

The problem is that he lied in order to get the job. If they knew about his past he would not be able to work for them. There is a lot of evidence about his past on the internet.

We’ve just agreed to separate, as he no longer wants the life we have. He feels he wants a life more around the job, and that’s the opposite of the life we live. I’ve found evidence of there being an inappropriate relationship between him and someone at his work, this person is in the limelight and I’m sure would also not be keen on him if they knew his background.

The question is, do I just walk away gracefully or do I highlight his past, get his job taken from him (which would destroy him as he’s obsessed with the job) and bring him back down a peg or two?

Walk away gracefully. It's not worth your headspace.

(Unless there's a safeguarding element to his job that is relevant to his past history. )

Hold your head up and stay out of it. Not your circus any more, not your monkey.

Honestly, I’d probably give it a couple of months and anonymously let the job know about his lies. He shouldn’t have lied, so it’s his own fault if he loses his job.

are you vengeful or not? That’s the real question. Not some kind of moral imperative positioned question.

Would I? Probably!

As tempting as it would be, I’d leave it. I’d only tell if there was a safeguarding element to his past which might impact other people. But if it’s nothing like that then I’d leave it.

I would walk away. It sounds like he will be the architect of his own downfall if he is letting his new position go to his head. Stop allowing him any of your headspace. Think about what you want from life and concentrate on that. You are important, he is not.