Help understanding

[Malia44]

Ive been with my partner 16 months I have 2 daughters he has a son.
ive met his son once and he spends a little time with my children.
I am not really involved in his life I’ve been respectful that he wants to take his time although he speaks of a future together marriage etc.
‘He’s just been on holiday for 3 weeks with His son and I felt so left out. He kept in touch surface level I’d say. He told me he’d spent a lot of money on his son and then a week later tells me his son bought me a fridge magnet as a gift which I find hard to believe as I’m not involved in their lives.
i feel so hurt tonight

You are and will always come second to his son. That’s all there is to understand.

Yes but I wonder if there will come a time when we all do things together or if I’m wasting my time

After 16 months and you’ve only met his son once, I’d be questioning whether he really sees a future with you. Sorry if that sounds harsh. I can fully understand not wanting to introduce children to new partners early in the relationship but I’d be looking for something more after 16 months. have you spoken to him about it?

How old is his son?

After 16 months and only having met him once I think it's time to have a serious conversation.

He’s organised a trip out for us all in September his son is 13

13 is a tricky age - maybe he is being led by what his son wants? Maybe his son is happy spending time with his dad alone and doesn't want to spend time with you and your daughters? 16 months isn't that long, if I were you I'd just enjoy dating and not push the 'blending of families' What's the rush?

Good old MN

Warnings over many threads from posters saying someone is a bad parent if you introduce a child to a new partner before a year together.

And here we have a dad being criticised because OP has only met the child once after 16 months.

Pray tell oh wisdomus MN, what is the correct number of meetings between month 13 and 16?

Have a chat with him about why you feel hurt @Malia44 and see where it leads. All the best.

I think its great to read a father being responsible regarding his child. He's putting him first.
He kept in small contact with you during his holiday, what more do you want? He was with his son on a vacation! He's taking you all on a holiday on September, so I think you're exaggerating the situation.
His child will hopefully always come first, just like your children should.

His son bought you a fridge magnet even though he barely knows you? I think that's really rather sweet of him actually.

I was just thinking that myself!

If what he says is true about marriage etc he’s not just one day say to his son he’s marrying me there’s a buildup to that and it starts of with the occasional trip out together that’s how I see things. The fact that’s not happening seems odd to me given the fact he spends time with my children occasionally. As far as September is concerned it’s an evening out not a trip.