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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Missing ex

10 replies

MoonlightMidnight · 27/08/2025 20:38

I know this will sound pathetic and if I could control it I would. I split with my ex a good few years ago. I've been completely single since then with no dating at all. Recently I've really started to miss him even though he isn't a good person and he doesn't bother with our children so yes I know that makes me a pathetic person. I keep having dreams about him and craving my old life with him as I am so lonely. I never expected I'd be sat in alone every single night until my children are young adults. I miss him (well the thought of him and my old life) and have to stop myself from reaching out to him. Everyone says it's gets better but it doesn't. I imagine what he is up to, out having fun and dating whilst I'm sat alone every night taking care of the children. Has anyone ever felt this way and what helped?

OP posts:
Beanfry · 27/08/2025 21:00

Have you tried to date? Maybe it’s time to put yourself out there a bit? I found that a FWB worked wonders for me getting over my ex, not for everyone, but if you don’t care if it goes anywhere, be open with the other person about what you’re doing, then maybe some company from another man might just help you to start moving forwards. It allowed me to get to a point where I wanted to start dating again properly

MoonlightMidnight · 27/08/2025 21:14

No I have not considered that. I have my children full time so that wouldn't be an option.

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Endofyear · 27/08/2025 23:16

I would suggest that you need to get a bit of a life for yourself. How old are your children? You can get a babysitter to go out in the evenings. Why not try some online dating sites and go on a few dates?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/08/2025 23:17

Make an ‘ick list’ of the mean bad things he did on your phone to look at when you get sentimental

MoonlightMidnight · 27/08/2025 23:19

Endofyear · 27/08/2025 23:16

I would suggest that you need to get a bit of a life for yourself. How old are your children? You can get a babysitter to go out in the evenings. Why not try some online dating sites and go on a few dates?

Not possible unfortunately I don't have the money.

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MoonlightMidnight · 27/08/2025 23:28

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/08/2025 23:17

Make an ‘ick list’ of the mean bad things he did on your phone to look at when you get sentimental

There are so many icks if I'm honest I could probably fill a book so no idea why I feel this way

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ArabellaRockerfella · 27/08/2025 23:40

I am in exactly the same situation as you and he left me 7yrs ago :{

Sorry I don't have any advice or tips, I've been on numerous dating sites for over 5yrs and only had 1 date! I just wanted you to know you're not lone :(

MoonlightMidnight · 27/08/2025 23:50

ArabellaRockerfella · 27/08/2025 23:40

I am in exactly the same situation as you and he left me 7yrs ago :{

Sorry I don't have any advice or tips, I've been on numerous dating sites for over 5yrs and only had 1 date! I just wanted you to know you're not lone :(

Thank you, I'm sorry you are in the same situation although it really does help to know it isn't just me as I feel mad sometimes, he tried to come back a while ago and I said no but now I'm kicking myself. I haven't even tried dating apps as I have no time to offer anyone.

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Pryceosh1987 · 28/08/2025 01:16

Its possible to restore everything, if he is still single and you see him often. The kids may be able to bring you two together, family ethics. If he still is in the children's lives, and providing for the children, its even easier. Let him know your feelings and fight for your need, I wish you the best.

MoonlightMidnight · 28/08/2025 01:25

No he isn't as per my post he doesn't see them so yes I should probably hate him for that

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