Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This is just more abuse isn't it?

2 replies

Tatiepot · 27/08/2025 19:10

Abusive XH (who i divorced a few years ago) asks at the last minute to have DC for a few days. I change my plans to accommodate this (for DCs benefit). We agree hand back day, time and location.

He then asks to change location to suit him. I am already going out of my way so I refuse, and explain why politely. Two days later he texts to "check" day time and location. I text back repeating what we've agreed. Two more days later the same question but framed as if I am "making" him do this. I grey rock back repeating what we've agreed. A further day and the same questions again, but terse/aggressive. I grey rock the same info again..."as we agreed yada yada". He has just texted again, all sweetness this time saying "just checking X time (the one we've already discussed and agreed multiple times) is ok can you let me know darling?" I have so far ignored it.

Is he losing the plot or is this just more headfuck? It is driving me insane
...which i imagine is the point...as he knows i can't not check messages when he has DC. I am already on antidepressants to try and manage CPTSD after 20 years with him, I just don't know how to deal with him.

OP posts:
Haggisfish3 · 27/08/2025 19:12

can you not just emoji thumbs up reply.

tarheelbaby · 27/08/2025 19:14

Sounds like more of his usual.

Just keep repeating that you will collect DC at previously agreed date, time and location and nowhere else.
If you're feeling bold, point out that this is a change you agreed to for his benefit. Screenshot that.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page