Been friends since we met at college in the late 1990s. We're now in early 40s.
My friend Jane (not her real name) has always struggled on and off with poor mental health, has sometimes disappeared off the radar for a couple of years at a time but she usually re-emerged when she was ready. I just got used to it and never pressured her.
During the off-the-radar periods, Jane would always still send Christmas and birthday cards (including to my children). We could go a 2 or 3 years with no other contact but the cards would still come, and I'd send them to her too.
It's now been just over 5 years since I last saw Jane and there have been no cards or contact during that time. Her phone number is out of service (possibly changed?) and she's disappeared off all social media. She's also moved address because I even looked online to see if her house has been sold/up for sale. It was sold about 4 years ago and I even went over to the address (it's not far from me) to enquire if the new owners had a forwarding address for Jane. The named the town she'd moved to but said didn't have the address. The town is 2 hours' drive away. Jane lived with her elderly parent and the parent was the home owner. Due to poor mental health, Jane hasn't worked in most of the time I've known her. Parent was of retirement age, so I suspect they moved once the parent had retired.
Sadly my attempts to contact the parent who is still on social media have gone unanswered. However, I didn't contact a cousin of Jane's (who I knew vaguely) on social media. Cousin responded to say hasn't see/heard from Jane or her parents in "several years" and suspects they "don't want to be contacted". I remember Jane and this cousin used to be very close, but cousin told me has no idea of whereabouts or current circumstances.
After being told by the new occupants of Janes old address about which town she'd moved to, I actually contacted the local council in that new town to ask whether they had any death records of Jane. I was worried that maybe something terrible had happened to her, but they responded that they don't have any death records matching her details. I've googled for her (she has very unusual real name), but nothing comes up. Nothing on linkedin either.
I'm getting married next year and would desperately love Jane to be there, or at least to have the invitation to attend if she wants to.
Only other thing I can think of is to join FB group for her new town and asks if anyone there knows her. Would that we weird? I don't want to be too "stalkerish" but I'm so desperate to hear from her, to know she's ok. If she doesn't want to be in contact any more then I've got to respect that and will respect it, but I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. Would the local police in the new town be willing to check in on her if I contact them?