Why is he pulling away after he says he loves me?

[Sheshappy123]

I have been casually seeing a guy for last 3/4 months and things were going well, I felt like we were really connecting. He has said things like he’s so happy that we met, that he wishes we met years ago and had children together (we both have our own children) he’s been hinting about things in the future holidays etc and recently told me he’s fallen in love with me. But the last couple of days he’s barely text me when usually he texts consistently and 99% of the time will always text good night and morning which he suddenly stopped doing and when I messaged saying I missed him he didn’t respond. What do i do? I’ve been falling for him but do I just accept that maybe he’s no longer interested and maybe didn’t even mean any of the things he said 😔 it’s really confusing

As painful as it may be to hear, it's pretty obvious he's gone off you all of a sudden. Possibly, he's met someone else. Whatever the reason, I think it's more or less done with.

Sometimes men do pull away a bit around this time. It seems he has text you but not as much as normal. If I were you I would stop saying you miss him and pull back a bit too and let him miss you.

Have you met the same guy i was with for about the same amount of time and was seriously loved bombed and future faked by. your post is so familiar to me op. And yes it was all bullshit and I meant nothing to him despite all he said. im actually embarrassed that I was sucked in and believed all his bullshit in my mid 40s.
After him telling me he'd never felt this way about anyone before and how he wished we'd have met 20 years earlier and had a family etc etc blah blah blah. He just completely out of the blue ghosted me one day and I haven't heard or seen him now for 2 years. he even moved away. I was left incredibly hurt.

Think I’ve dodged a huge bullet! This evening I saw he had posted on a Facebook dating page (the actual post was a couple of weeks ago) but he was saying I’m looking for someone genuine to date and start a family (when he told me he doesn’t want anymore kids) why would you be looking for someone to date when you are apparently already “in love” with me lol it’s laughable really that I believed all his bullshit! But now I’m seriously worried as we had unprotected sex ( so so stupid of me) and I’m scared if I’ve caught something serious 😔

Wow! Well, at least there are no 'what ifs', now. You've seen who he is. No going back.
Get yourself off to the clinic for testing. Fingers crossed for you that all is good.
And keep your eye out for love-bombing, in future! If it's too good to be true...

@Desmodici you know what I’m so glad that I saw that because it really helped get over it all because it was so fake. But now I’m left just feeling so stupid and also I let him video us being intimate (another really stupid thing) this evening I text him saying it’s best we don’t see eachother anymore and he just said ok fine if that’s what you want. Now I’m worried what he will do with the video

This, I would fall into this category too as female!

Oh dear OP what a tosser. Chalk it down to bad luck and experience and onwards and upwards.

I honestly don’t know what goes through their heads - is it just a game to them? Honestly! To be so manipulative is just cruel.

Omg that’s so awful
what a shallow horrid vile man
ok that’s fine
wow just wow
i I can’t stand people like that it makes my blood boil
i hope he gets them same words from someone in his future when he’s all happy and into them

your be fine babe get back out there and shine

Cheater, cheater pumpkin eater.

Just another loser, they all act the same, and it is an act, you’ll be able to spot them a mile off soon so it’s good practice for not going through the same thing in the future, lesson learned hopefully as you deserve better

Just an update on this- I messaged him to say I think we shouldn’t see each other anymore his response “ok if that’s what you want” so he obviously wasn’t very bothered. I told him I knew he was only using me for sex and that he knew how i felt about him but he decided to keep on using me anyway I said best of luck with everything and take care and then blocked him so no idea if he even responded. But I can’t stop thinking about him and I miss him so much even though I know he was only using me- what is wrong with me 😔 last night I cried for ages. How do I get over missing him? I wrote a huge list of his downfalls and things I didn’t like about him (which is a huge list) 😂 so that I can read it when I’m down but it’s not helping 😔

So proud of you for getting out of this and blocking him OP. Be proud of yourself. As you said in your earlier post you DODGED A BULLET. Be relieved to be rid of that twat. He treated you poorly and made you feel like shit. Try and think positively when those ’missing him’ thoughts come up. What you are missing is the lies he told you—his facade. None of it was real.
Think about the actual man he was—a complete dickhead—and hopefully you may find yourself not missing him so much.
Hope you feel better soon. You are brave and strong and you will get through this.

He has just text me saying why have you blocked me on WhatsApp 😕 is there anyway I can block his number completely so that he can’t even text me?

Yes you can block him on messages and on watsapp

Yes using your phone's own settings. Click on his number where you stored it. You should get the options to either ,Edit contact .... or BLOCK. You could edit the name you had stored him under to "Cheating Prat" and then block.

He's continuing to abuse you by not respecting your boundaries. It's clear to him that you don't want to hear from him, yet he still finds a way. It's to get in your head. See it for what it is. It doesn't come from a place of care or concern.
My ex did similar; I blocked him on phone and social media, so he emailed me saying, 'You forgot about email, didn't you!' He was actually pleased with himself. Idiot.
The way you're feeling - look up 'trauma bond'. It's normal after what you've been through. It will fade, I promise! It's not wrong to feel the way you do. You just have to sit with these emotions when they come, and know that it's a process you have to go through. Remember this isn't a permanent state. You will, at some point, feel free and happy again. He's not worthy of space in your head.
In the meantime, look after yourself. Spend time with close friends; get yourself out for walks in nature, if you can; avoid junk food. Give your body and mind the best chance to heal.
Sending you lots of strength.

men like this give all men a bad rep

he’s immature and not giving a shit about you. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

i had this happen to me after dating someone for a year and it completely messed my head up. He said everything I wanted to hear but his actions didn’t match. He love bombed me and promised me the world and then went cold and blamed me for everything
I couldn’t do anything right. I then found out he was seeing someone else. He broke my heart and I think his actions were the real reason I was so hurt and not actually losing him.

i met my husband after this disastrous relationship and it was totally different, everything he said he did. No agenda. I have never ever had to question anything.
no worrying about what he was doing.

the times I worried or felt insecure I would tell my husband and he would reassure me.
7 years later and I’m so happy.

remember you’re upset by being treated so badly and not because you actually miss him x

This 100%