Leaving my job - and my secret crush - help!

[LastWeekLovesick]

I just said goodbye to my work colleague, I am leaving my job whilst he is on holiday, he goes away tomorrow. We will stay in touch. But the stupid thing is I am in love with this guy. There is no possibility of any relationship between us, I think I just want some supportive comments because I feel a fool. He has no idea how I feel, just that he has been the most fantastic colleague and the one who put me on the road to my next step up.

It’s tough but hopefully you’ll feel a bit better about things as the weeks go on. It’s hard working with someone when you feel like that. I have to work on same floor as someone I dated 2yrs ago (then lately started it up again and now i’ve decided to end it for good as he is bread crumbing me and i’ve done). I am relocating next year and I can’t wait to put some physical space between us as it’s hard seeing him a couple of times a week. Surround yourself with friends and family, book a holiday (that’s what i’ve done) and try and put him in your past.

Thank you @Zanatdy, it's not quite the same, I hope you feel better soon though. He doesn't deserve you! I've never had anything negative with my colleague, it's been a very positive working relationship, he supported me with everything, and though we have not always seen eye to eye at work on projects we have been a very good team. I couldn't have wished for a better colleague.

Maybe you could ask him out, if you are both single?

My secret crush left the job and then text me that I was a beautiful person and he loved me to bits.

Together 4 years now :)

I'm single, he isn't.

What a bummer. Still at least you're staying friends.

Add him on linked in,, if he divorces he’ll be in torch

He's not on it @Unexpectedlysinglemum! I'm staying in the same organisation just in a different building in a different role, so I will still see him.

In that case, go for coffee and have lunch together as friends. Ask his advice still if you need too.

BUT don’t hinge your future happiness on him. Get out there and meet single guys.

This is exactly what we've been doing. I've met him twice since I left for coffee or lunch and again with another group plus I've helped him out with some work and he's done the same for me. Really happy with that.

Talking to a friend of mine today about it and she doesn't know him at all or work anywhere near us or in the same area. She asked me if he had ever made a pass at me. I'd be appalled if he had tbh. Of course he hasn't it's just not like that.

Have you asked him if he has a brother? Or any friends he rates that he could introduce to you

Oh this is really sad OP. I’m sorry you’re going through this. You absolutely need to move on though. You have to give yourself at least a chance to meet someone and be happy

It won't stop me doing that, when I feel like it. I've moved jobs and am having house renovations so I'm in no position to be dating anyway just now. I just don't want to. Nothing to do with this guy, just how I am at the moment, and I'm fine.

@Icantsaythis He has several brothers, he is one of 9 siblings!

There is always posts from women worried about their husbands and their work colleagues so I think in the nicest way have some respect for his relationship and get him out of your head.

That is not an issue. I was posting about how I felt, not disrespecting his relationship. It isn't the same. Nobody has any reason to be worried about anything.

You know what though, it might turn out to be the best possible thing for you…a bit of distance so you can get him out of your head and focus on people who are available.
Speaking as somebody who [briefly] got involved with a married colleague…it is a recipe for disaster and heartbreak all round. So, from that perspective I’d say rip the band aid off and cut contact. Give this crush the space to fizzle and die.

I'd never get involved with him in that way. I hope you are OK now.

thanks…it was years ago now but I still see anything like this and my gut reaction is “oh my God run girl!!”
I hope you meet somebody lovely to take your mind off him in the near future.