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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it over?

2 replies

Waterfan11 · 25/08/2025 19:22

Hi. I’m a 38 year old female. I’ve been with my partner for 16 years now. We have a child together who is 12 and I have a child from a previous relationship who is 18.
this last year things have just got a bit rubbish and boring to be honest.. The relationship between my partner and my eldest isn’t great anymore and they don’t talk.
The relationship with me and my partner has been slowly changing and I feel we are more like housemates. I have no desire for sex which does annoy him but I just have no sex drive. I feel my feelings towards him have changed but I’m inside of how to bring it up as he’s not great with things like this and pretty much sulks if things don’t go his way. He works long hours meaning weekdays we don’t see him a lot and he goes to bed early as he is an early riser whereas I’m a night owl and like to spend a few hours in the evening to myself as work is constantly hectic and I’m busy being mum and keeping the house tidy.
If we were to split it would mean so many changes to everything and I’m not sure what I’d do. I have adhd so this is doesn’t help. I just don’t know what to do but I feel so miserable at the moment.

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 26/08/2025 00:50

Why don't your eldest and partner get on? It sounds like you have no connection and barely communicate so it's hardly surprising you don't want sex. Sulking is very immature, unattractive and can be perceived as abusive.

I don't know what your ADHD has to do with anything but surely the first step is a conversation.

Mammymess · 12/01/2026 16:22

Have just come on and posted and genuinely feel for you, I could have written this myself. How are things now?

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