I have been having an emotional affair for past 2.5 years
I met this man in work 10 years ago. Both of us were married but there was this intense connection. Nothing happened physically and as much as I tried to steer clear for both of our marriages, I was falling for him. So much so I quit my job, changed my phone number.
he quit his job 6 weeks later. Then another year passed and he found out where I worked and would call my office
eventually I told my husband and he messaged him threatening to tell his wife if he didn’t leave me alone
i blocked him for 7 years
my marriage ended 3 years ago.
I bumped into him at a mutual friends funeral. I say bumped… I actually saw him, but steered clear and hoped he didn’t see me: there were 100s of ppl at this funeral.
anyway I started to stalk his social media. Looked to me like he was also “single” so I reached out,
I didn’t ask him if he was single.
he told me he and his wife separated:
that he bought a flat, and he wanted us to meet for coffee
we did. It was electric
but he didn’t instigate we should go anywhere after our coffee
his excuse was that his flat was a bomb site
anyway. After a lot of sexting daily texts (sometimes 100s per day) we arranged to meet up at his flat.
morning of, he text me to say he was so ill. And had taken a covid test. So had to change our date.
i ghosted him for 3 days after that. Something just didn’t sit well with me:
his ex is a doctor. But why did he have Covid tests let alone need to do one in 2023 ??
eventually I told him I had my doubts about his separation
he sent me screen shots of their separation certificates and pictures of his flat
i felt stupid. He was telling the truth and I doubted him.
This continued for months. We don’t live close to one another so mostly calls and texts etc. but for some reason he just didn’t want us to be some where on our own: he never wanted to come to my house.
fast forward and I tried to delete him to block him over past year and a bit coz it was just going no where.
but he’d make up fake accounts and add me
watch my on line stories every day.
i would try to let him go but id end up giving up,
anyway fast forward to last week
his mum died.
he reached out to me
told me he loved me that he took so long getting over me before and now he was having to do it all again,
given that he was grieving I told him that I was happy to remain friends. asked him again if he was still married “no!!!”
Saturday night he sent me a selfie and in the background was a medical trolley. I know his “ex” is now an aesthetic doctor.
i have been right this entire time.
he is very much still married..
i didn’t confront him: I just blocked him,
my question is.. should I tell his wife.
i know if it was me i would want to know.
my friends are mixed in saying i shouldn’t say anything. That I should confront him,
but he has lied to my face for years.
so WWYD?
thank you so much for reading all of this