How do you meet men outside of online dating?

[Kumquatzest]

I'm 30 and I'm looking for a committed long-term relationship. I don't feel comfortable with online dating and I'd prefer to meet men the old-fashioned way. The problem is that men never approach me IRL, ask me on a date or ask for my number. I'm the first to admit that I'm no beauty queen, but I am in decent shape, I eat healthily and I go to the gym. So I don't really understand why men aren't approaching me - am I really that unattractive? Has the culture completely shifted to dating via apps?

I also have ASD and I am a shy and introverted person with a small social circle. When I do see men I'm interested in, I'm too nervous to approach them. I also live in a rural area so unfortunately the choice of social groups, clubs etc here is limited and meeting new people isn't easy.

What should I do?

I don't any have any answers, but am interested to see what people are suggesting.
I have very lovely sons who work from home in good well-paid jobs, whose hobbies are online or solitary ( learning instruments, reading as well as gaming) and whose friends are mainly online too.
My friend's son is also lovely, handsome enough to be a model but very modest, a really nice person. He works as a lorry driver. These are all charming, thoughtful, respectful men, late 20's/early 30's and we despair as to how they will ever meet anyone. They are all fairly introverted but not so much that they can't make decent conversation, but the sort that if they were out, they would never approach a stranger in bar. They might chat to a friend or sister of a friend, I can't see how they will ever meet someone who wasn't connected in some way to someone they already know. Two of them still live with their families because 1) London prices and 2) more companionable than living in a rented room.
One of them has recently made a Bumble account but has't yet contacted anyone from it.
On the other hand, the young women I know, some of whom are former classmates of these guys, seem to be much more active socially, and are braver with OLD, too. They don't seem to have the social anxiety that so many of the young men have, or if they do, it doesn't stop them from being proactive.
So I would say to young women wanting to meet someone, try playing online games, join a D & D group, go to an evening class or group, go to see local bands play. And be brave.

I don’t think men really ask random women out as it could be seen as pestering. Options are-
Through work
Through friends
through a hobby

I met dh (15 years ago) through friends . My previous husband through work. My two dds are in long term relationships one met her bf through friends and the other on tinder.

I met DH1 through a shared hobby, DH2 through church. Both in the days before OLD. If I ever required DH3 I would join U3A!

@DelphiniumBlue It is a similar situation as OP, if you don't put yourself out there nothing will happen.

The difference for men and women on OLD is that women will naturally get many likes, whereas men are likely to receive about 1 like for every 100 a woman receives. So not surprised your son isn't seeing any activity from the dating apps.

For OP, perhaps speed dating as you're forced to chat to someone for a few minutes, but the introduction is done for you, no awkwardness with attempting to go up to a stranger.

Personally I've found friends self-absorbed and they're not interested in match-making as their own lives are sorted.

I’m in the same situation as you, coming out of a life sentence of a relationship I’ve found that the dating world has changed immensely.

before men would come up to me in bars/clubs. But now none of that happens. I don’t go to clubs anymore so maybe that’s it 😂 but it seems OLD or joining a hobby club are the way to go now.

I haven’t found anyone that I click with as yet, as I’m assuming once I know I’ll know.

Just, you know, 20 years ago when I met my late DH, I met him through friends. I met guys at work, in the pub, doing activities -- you name it. It's just not like that now, and it's not just because I'm a fat old woman. 😉

It's practically illegal now to date at work. Literally you can lose your job over it and many people are extremely leery of it as they have seen this happen. My younger colleagues have talked about this anxiety at length. It's not like 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago, when most people met their partners at work. That is over as a strategy.

University is still sort of working as a matchmaker, I hear. Volunteering might, if you pick something men also volunteer in. OLD is awful, imo -- you can certainly get dates but it's just extremely weird and inhuman? It repels me. I just want a nice man I know in some way to ask me out in a normal way. But it's sort of...IDK...it's problematic according to Twitter or whatever so now everybody is lonely. Great job.