Positive stories about moving on after separation with young kids

[Mumto21234]

Looking for some positive stories people have about getting divorced in mid 30s with 2 young kids, and actually meeting and falling in love with someone again?!

Need some hope for the future!

No advice but contemplating doing the same, except I have 3 kids and 40s x

Anyone have any stories to instill hope.... 😬

Do you need to think about the next partner? Why not just concentrate on the children?

If it's any help ... I was in an appalling marriage. Don't know how I managed to end it, mid-40's, because I was completely beaten down.

But Ive been seeing another man now for five years, he moved in in February, and things couldn't be move different. It's not perfect but when there are problems we talk about them and both of us try to adapt.

He's good with my children and always has been (known him a long time as a friend, though I really wanted my marriage to work so there was never a question of anything more).

He's kind, fun, he's thoughtful, we share the same interests, he's solvent, he's doing his best. We both are. He's four times better off than I am and we're arranging it so that if we split up, he won't get taken to the cleaners financially the way I was with ex-H. It's how I want it.

He's not always the best at chatting (bit of a geek) but his heart is solid gold and if things don't work out I'm rock solid that he'll handle a separation fairly. Which strangely enough, gives me a great deal of faith in him that he's trustworthy. He's also extremely patient with the fact that it's taking me a loooong time to change the mental programming, after the 12 years with ex-H. It's happening and things are getting better all the time, but there hasn't been a magic wand sadly.

I like him a lot, as well as loving him. Yes, he drives me nuts at times but underneath that I respect, communicate with and love him.

Yep me! Divorced exh age 31 after 10 years and 3 kids; unexpectedly fell absolutely head over heels for a very old friend who was going through the same thing at the same time. Everything felt revelatory for a long time - so this is how it’s supposed to be! - we’re years in now so the immediate awe and amazement of how things can (should!) be has faded somewhat, but I still feel so unbelievably lucky to have ended up with him. He’s my best friend; we have our issues and niggles but we’re rock solid and I’d never want to be without him. He has kids too and blending isn’t for the faint hearted but we make it work, muddle through, all get on well and now have a baby together which sparked a whole new set of revelations (so this is what it’s supposed to be like - you have a baby and feel supported! And like part of a team! Who knew?!)
However I will say, even though I adore OH and our life together and the baby, I look back at the time when I was a single mum to 3 as some of my best days - I absolutely loved it; there’s a lot to be said for the total freedom of not having a partner! I had always done everything on my own with & for the kids so my life was actually far easier when I ditched exh; I was better off emotionally, financially and every other way too. Definitely take some time and enjoy the lack of accountability and being able to make your own decisions and do whatever you want without having to factor other people in - me and the kids had a great time doing our thing and I do slightly wish I’d pushed back moving in with OH by an extra year or so and enjoyed the time on my own for a bit longer 😁 don’t rush to saddle yourself with another bloke even if they’re worth it!

Thanks for your contribution to positive stories..

@LotsOfSmallThings @ReleaseTheDucksOfWar its so nice to hear there is light at the end of the tunnel in terms of happiness.

I do find it somewhat easier knowing anything that needs to be done around house/for kids is my responsibility now and not relying on someone else to do their bit, and then getting frustrated when they don't, so I do hope that thete could be elements of moving to my own place that are easier, albeit stressful and lonely at times as well I imagine!

But I do have some sort of hope...

I waited till my youngest was 18.

I know it's not what you've asked for, but you are more likely to live your life in bright light if you do believe it's possible to be happy without a partner. I can give you that sort of positive story. There's light in lots places! 😊
A loving partner then becomes a fabulous addition rather than a prerequisite for a life filled with joy.
Good luck with this major and daunting change in your life.

@KittyHigham yeah certainly not something I am considering for at least a year +, just nice to know people do move on being able to trust and find happiness that a relationship can bring, especially after a horrible breakdown of one.

Yes I have a nice relationship now after my separation and divorce. I stayed single for a year or so, had some counselling and just concentrated on myself and the dc, then when I was ready had a few dates. Met someone I was with for quite a while but we both agreed it was just fun rather than going anywhere serious, which at that time was perfect for me. After that I met my current partner who I’ve been with 2 years. I still find it hard to trust though after years of gaslighting from my ex husband, but I’m still seeing my therapist and working on healthy relationships.

Could not agree more.

Due to health issues, honestly life is far easier in practical terms with partner, but I would manage alone if things went wrong. He's a mostly-glowing bonus to life, rather than as @KittyHigham puts it 'a pre-requisite'.

The youngest and I do really enjoy it when he's away for a week on a business trip!

I left my husband 7.5 years ago when my DD was 7. The divorce went quite smoothly and we sold the house, split the equity and I moved 30 mins away back to my family village. I met a new guy about a year later and we dated for a couple of years. It was nice but he wasn't as understanding of my DDs needs as I'd like and he had baggage and eventually I ended things. I did some OLD and met a new guy who has been great. He moved in last March and we are getting married next May. My DD loves him and we've just got back from a loving, peaceful and fun sommer holiday. I am incredibly happy and 48!