Threatened by ex wife

[Jennas1981]

I have been with DP for 7 years. He has a teenage dd and I have two adult children. We don't live together but see one another regularly. My dp was married before I met him for 6 years but his exwife divorced him which he was devastated at the time. They co parent their dd well but this is what worries me. His ex is stunning and she has remarried. She never causes any issues for us and has told her dd off for being rude to me, dd told me when she said sorry to me. Why does it worry me so much, everytime she rings dp usually related to dd does it make my stomach churn. I just feel she could click her fingers and dp would go back to her. I know I am being ridiculous but it is really impacting me.

You need to work on your self esteem. This woman sounds perfectly nice.

I could only dream that my dhs ex wife was like this rather than how she behaves towards me even though they were divorced for years before I met him. You might need to get some counselling to unpick why you feel this way.

Too nice, I just can't see why dp doesn't still want to be with her she is that nice. I guess I feel she is perfect. Dp reassures me but it is really hard when she will always be my dps first. Sounds silly when I have had relationships myself before. Counselling might be an option.

She obviously doesn't want to be with him she divorced him and is remarried so sounds like it is an option any road.

1. She divorced him - she doesn't want to be with him (your DP)
2. She remarried someone else - she definitely doesn't want to be with him
3. She is both nice to you AND respectful based on the situation with DD

This is definitely a self-esteem issue of your own making and it's concerning that you haven't done anything in seven years to resolve it. You said counselling could be any option - I think it SHOULD be THE option. Don't let it get to the point where your feelings of insecurity overwhelm your relationship. Good luck.

I thought you meant threatened like she threatened to kill you.

This is a you problem. It's your insecurity and low self esteem that are causing your issue.

You've been with your partner for 7 years. He has to coparent with his ex, that's necessary. She's remarried. Of course your partner did things with her first. If you wanted a partner without the baggage that comes along with having lived life, your expectations are simply unreasonable. That's a you problem. That you have anxiety whenever she calls is another you problem.

The call's coming from inside the house, so to speak.

Therapy might help with your issues.