Been with partner for 11 years. Have 1 son aged 9. I have 19 yo from first marriage.
I am deeply unhappy with my situation. Partner is not a good father. He is completely selfish. He only really cares about beer and his father and then work, son had autism and adhd and is extremely needy. Never plays by himself or spends time alone. He is home educated (long story). I had to give up my career to enable to. My son is with me 24/7.
My parter is not concerned about how hard I find life, that I never get any time to myself. He’s just angry that he is supposed to care for him too. He will only spend 1 hour a day with him at a push,
my son is very uncomfortable with him and he can sense his dad is not interested.
I am not attracted to him in any way. He actually repulses me.
I have no money to leave. Only 50, 000 equity that won’t get me and my son’s anything. I can’t go to work as my son is too unwell for school. I don’t know what to do and I am feeling dark thoughts as I don’t know how to carry on. I have no friends and can’t even go and see my mum as my son has such horrendous meltdowns if I leave him. I can’t blame him as his dad makes anyone feel awkward. He has no warmth about him or empathy for others and can’t hold a conversation.
He keeps all his money in his own sole account and would never set up a joint one. He earns well but refuses to tell how much or treat kids etc.
I just need to get away. I have mentioned the subject of us separating but he just says “im going nowhere”!! He is a complete control freak. He is also so bitchy about others esp my family.
I can’t just turn up at the council because apparently I would be making myself intentionally homeless.
I put my kids first all the time and just don’t know what to do. Please anyone any ideas I can’t send my son back to school because of extreme disability and I have no money…He knows I am unhappy and wanting to escape and it gives him joy that I can’t leave.