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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm not sure if I love my husband anymore..

3 replies

MaltWispa · 22/08/2025 23:10

I've been with my DH for 11 years, married for 4 and we've got a 10 month old DS. I don't know if it's PP hormones, but for the last 6 months or so, I just look at my DH in a completely different way.

Everything he does annoys me. I find myself not listening to his stories, or particularly caring. I've got on with his family, they're not my cup of tea but they're fine, however I've come to just dread and really dislike them too.

I find myself wondering how much easier my life might be without DH. I long for work trips so he can just leave us alone. He isn't a bad man at all - he's loyal, present, hard working. I just don't think I like him anymore. All the things I found endearing, I now find annoying. All the things that I found annoying, I now hate. A big thing is his religion - things that I thought were okay, now actually make me feel a bit sick at the thought of exposing my child to them. I have nightmares about it all and sometimes can't sleep because of it all.

I really don't know what to do. I can't leave, I don't want that for my child, but I can't live like this either. I came from a divorced family, so I understand that two separate and happy parents is better than together and miserable ones, but I don't think that would make me happy either. At least being together, I have an element of control on what my child is being raised amongst - I wouldn't if we split.

I can't speak to anyone about this in real life - they'd worry and I just don't know if this is all PP hormones, if I've just been naive in the past or if I've just changed my mind!

Any help or advice would be much appreciated - even writing this down has made me feel a bit better and thanks in advance if you've made it to the end!

OP posts:
danid26 · 22/08/2025 23:34

Hi OP,

I'm sorry to read your having a bit of a rough time. All of these feelings towards your husband may 100% be that you have fallen out of love with him, but hear me out..
Please read into post partum rage. I had exactly the same thing after DD was born, and what you have written, sounds like me towards my husband in that time period. Just gear yourself up with all the facts you can, before making any rash decisions.

Sending hugs xx

LizzyEm · 22/08/2025 23:42

It's probably your hormones are off because this sounds like peri-meno as well.

Thepossibility · 22/08/2025 23:53

I'd say hormones too. After my babies I went off everyone and everything and all I cared about was them for a while. I think it's probably a natural instinct to motivate you to keep the baby alive over all else?

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