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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My relationship is ending, I need help

3 replies

Smithsazzy · 22/08/2025 17:36

I really need some help, my head is so messed up. I’m currently splitting with my partner of 12 years to be with my 17 year old son. Him and my son don’t have a great relationship and so for the past 2 years my son has been living with my parents. I have a 4 year old with my partner and this is what’s making it harder. We’ve had a really rubbish 4 years since our son arrived, my eldest at first didn’t bond with his brother and ignored him, he was generally a stroppy teenager who didnt want a baby brother, this didn’t go down well with my partner who thought he should be punished etc.. long story short partner dislikes my son and can’t get over it and son hates my partner for how upset he’s made me over the years.
I spent years on my own with my eldest as his dad wasn’t around and I so don’t want that for my youngest son. I want him to have his parents together. My partner says my ds 17 isn’t bothered about me or his brother and he’ll never come and live with us when we get our own place. He says he’s basically teaching us a lesson and doing this to make me realise that my eldest will stay put at my parents. Our house has sold and I have found somewhere to live with my boys but I’m devastated because I don’t want to split up with my other half, I’m worried about my youngest and how it’s going to effect him suddenly going to a new house where his dad isn’t there (he’s not good with change) it’s making me feel physically sick.

OP posts:
Icanttakethisanymore · 22/08/2025 17:40

I’m sorry OP - this sounds difficult but you are doing the right thing. You need to prioritise your children by leaving this manchild and getting on with your life. Any grown man who tries to make you choose between him and your teenage son is not a good man.

IfIHadAHeart · 22/08/2025 17:44

I wouldn’t have let this drag on for two years while one of my children lived elsewhere. But at least you’re finally doing the right thing.

TwistedWonder · 22/08/2025 17:50

IfIHadAHeart · 22/08/2025 17:44

I wouldn’t have let this drag on for two years while one of my children lived elsewhere. But at least you’re finally doing the right thing.

Absolutely agree. I remember the OP’s original thread where it appeared no matter how appealing this man was about her teenage son, she seemed determined to stick with him. At least she’s finally putting her DS first and I hope he gets the care, love and support that’s been lacking while she mooned over this pathetic manbaby.

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