Daughters first holiday away with dad since seperation

[Needtorelax1]

Hi everyone
think I just need a bit of moral support. Daughter 13 has gone on holidays with her dad for two weeks for the first time since our seperation and I’m really struggling 😔
I miss her so much and can’t help but have horrible thoughts of her loving her dad more than me and that she just has a better time with him etc. Until our settlement comes through I can’t afford to take her away so I feel guilty and really sad. I’ve messaged her but only get very short answers which I guess is just her being a teenager but it makes me anxious ( I do struggle with anxiety anyway)
can anyone just give me a little hand hold 😥

I'm sorry you're hurting and I totally get why, but try and reframe your thoughts as being pleased that your DD gets to go away this year - this is all about what's good for her, not you. If you are really enthusiastic about the holiday when speaking to your DD (even if you feel horribly sad inside) then you become part of that happy experience for her because she'll feel free to chat away enthusiastically about what she's been up to on holiday. If she knows you're sitting at home missing her in a doleful sorry for yourself kind of way as opposed to "miss you loads but so thrilled you're having a lovely time!" then she's not going to feel comfortable giving you anything other than short answers. In the meantime look after yourself these next two weeks and make the most of that time to yourself (or if you have other DC/caring commitments then enjoy having that little bit less to do). You got this.

I totally agree with this, and am really happy that she is happy it does make a huge difference. The fact that she gets to go away is lovely for her and I very much agree that this is for her and not me. I think im just feeling sorry for myself and it’s another one of those ‘firsts’ of everything. Im so sorry if I sound like im wallowing..im really not and am working and keeping my head down etc …I just think its hit me a bit as she’s a typical grunty teenager at home at the moment xx

Keep yourself busy and use the time to catch up with friends and have a bit of you time. Maybe even plan some fun activities for you and your daughter to do once she is back.