Dealing with hostility

[Tennyy]

A colleague in my team has suddenly become stand offish and comes across as distant when I say hello in passing. She says hi after everyone else has out of obligation.

There is a clique in the office and I know she would rather just stick to her friends in the clique. One time she asked me to train her on something then sat there kept looking at her watch the whole time. I thought it was rude and disrespectful as though I am inconveniencing her and she asked me not the other way round. Then once we had finished she rushed back to her friends to laugh and chat in the office.

I’m not expecting to be best friends with people but why do some people make it so obvious they don’t like you. I hate rudeness. I don’t have this problem with anyone else.

I don’t understand why the organisation goes on about looking after your mental health if you get people being rude and excluding people like this. The organisation are hosting social events now after work as they realised the culture and morale was low. I don’t see how they can change this if people continue to be unfriendly.

Just carry on as you are, being polite and professional, and don't let her shitty attitude get to you. She's the one doing her own career no favours.

She sounds very young and possibly immature. I tend not to get too invested in work colleagues, and am just polite and professional to them. Try to remember that her behaviour is about her and she's showing herself up.

She’s in her 40s too 🙄 I will try and not let it bother me.

I’d pull her up on it ; “ have I done something to upset you ? We’re both adults, I’d hope we can be mature and talk it thro “
works every time . Don’t give ppl the option to treat you like that ; you done get paid enough I’m sure to come home feeling like shite !
once you do it …. It ignites a fire in your belly ;)

There’s a powerful Ted talk on this, talking about the impact of incivility in the workplace. I would suggest sharing this video with your senior managers: www.ted.com/talks/chris_turner_when_rudeness_in_teams_turns_deadly?language=en

This happened to me, a colleague who I thought I was close too started withdrawing and becoming distant and was quite rude to me on a few occasions. I was hurt by her behaviour because I thought we were friends. It turns out she became jealous of me as I was so much more capable and it was mentioned by management in a meeting she attended. As you mentioned you have been training her, do you think your colleague might be jealous of you for similar reasons?

I had this happen to me, I still have no idea why she changed but previous to this she had been really friendly then almost overnight she decided she didn’t like me. She would ignore me, make birthday cake for everyone in the team but me, avoid me everywhere, refuse to sit next to me. I had no idea what I had done (if anything!?) and it really affected me. Also she was in her 50s, so a fully grown adult! I told my boss but they were useless and I ended up leaving anyway (not related to this incident). If this happened now I would just have a word and then if it didn’t fix it then I would make a note of anything she has done then bring in management and get them to deal with it. Then ultimately if that doesn’t work then a grievance may be the only option. Good luck!

Oh gosh, you made me realise the manager does praise me a lot to the team and wider teams. Whilst it’s nice to get praised for my hard work maybe she and others feel they don’t get the praise.