So bored and lonely

[Lollipopps]

I'm so bored and lonely and I just feel like no one understands or relates. I am a single parent and I haven't dated for 9 years as I never get any alone time so it just hasn't been an option (I don't have money for sitters and wouldn't be able to use them anyway)

I tried posting on a single mums group to see if anyone felt the same but they said they never get bored because there's always so much to do like cleaning, working and taking care of kids 🙄 yes I'm bored of that stuff, I'm bored of the same mundane tasks every single day. I know the obvious answer is to "make friends" and I've had this suggested to me before but truth is I've never really had friends, I suspect I'm ND (my children are so not just coming out of nowhere) I've always struggled with friendships and haven't had any since I was at school. Everyone told me I'd make friends when my children went to school but nope! Nothing, it just didn't happen.

I tried some online groups for ND people but they said they never got lonely and didn't relate (turned out they were married 🤷🏻‍♀️) I don't get any time to date and even if I did I'm far too exhausted that I have nothing to give anyone anyway. How do others cope with loneliness and missing adult company?

First of all stop applying labels to yourself - you are trying to fit square pegs into round holes

You are a single mother with child care issues, nothing more, nothing less

So what are your hobbies or things that you feel you might enjoy?

Narrow those things down and you then go out and find your tribe

I like to walk. From walking I started doing charity walks , then I found Park Run ( yes you can walk it ) then I started walking mid week with other women who wanted to up their preformance and then coffee or a beer after, then when you get to know them, a cinema night, a meal, a show, its not an over night transformation, its the plugging await something you enjoy.

I'm not trying to "label myself" 🙄 just trying to explain why "making friends" isn't a simple solution for me 🤦🏻‍♀️ as it will be the inevitable "solution" people come up with, I'm NOT trying to label myself I have no intention to seek any form of diagnosis i was just simply explaining that I can't just go out and make some friends

Do you have family near by? On some occasions I find that my family are my friends more than anyone else as I prioritise them. It’s certainly harder to maintain adult friendships as a single parent I find. I do have a boyfriend. Hard enough to find time for him and I do enjoy my own time as I find my work and kids mentally draining doing the mental load on my own. I don’t get bored as there’s always something to do. I think I could get bored if work was quieter and my kids didn’t demand so much from me. But for now I am just exhausted with the occasional misery about other women having girl nights out and holidays.

Yes I live near to them but I don't speak to them.

I never meant my post to cause distress or offence - I apologise that it can have come across that way

What Im trying to say in my clumsy way, is bring it back to basics . I too am ADHD and autistic, but those to me arent labels stopping me, they were diagnostics to help me understand why I found it so bloody difficult to find, make and keep friendships

I have very few friends - about 3 if Im being honest , and at my age, you'd think I'd have loads.

I really appreciate those that I do have, but I also appreciate those I have to work with, live along side, who accept my " oddness" and dont make a big deal out of it

But that's also quite a new experience for me. This is where my diagnosis helps, I can say out loud and clearly - I dont get this, I dont understand, Im missing something, please explain

Since Ive become more open about my own difficulties , whilst I cant say I have more friends, I have a wider social group, people who accept who I am and why I am how I am, groups where Im included

So again, I reiterate , forget all the labelling, find what it is you want to do and from there you will find an "in"