Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being unreasonable?

8 replies

trueconfused · 21/08/2025 14:58

Me and my partner of 2+ years went out on Friday night with some friends and I ended up going home early hours of the morning without him (which is normal and totally fine with me). He stayed out longer and by 9am the next morning he was still not home. Naturally I text him asking where he was and it turns out he had met some friends and went back to theirs to carry on the party. Now this was totally fine, only I wish he had let me know so I wouldn't worry or think the worst. He told me he was fine and that he was "just having fun".

He eventually came home late afternoon on Sunday however, during this time I had to reach out to him multiple times asking him to keep his phone charged, let me know when he'll be home, give me updates etc. Each time he gave me an ETA, he would not follow through and I had to ask again. Eventually he told me that I should not expect a text with an update as he knew I was sleeping, I was home so he was not worried about me and I should "grow up".

On his way home, he text me saying he was on his way, he's sorry and we can talk later.

I have not spoken to him yet and I'm concerned he will brush it off as just having a good time and not needing to update me throughout the night as I can clearly see his location and I shouldn't have been worried.

What's your thoughts and how should I approach a conversation?

OP posts:
Dartmoorcheffy · 21/08/2025 15:01

Well i certainly wouldn't be happy if my partner went awol for 2 days either. Late Saturday afternoon would have been OK but for him to stay out til Sunday is not on.

Laiste · 21/08/2025 15:14

You live together, yes?
(assuming so but checking)

You went out together friday night and he stayed out till sunday afternoon. He didn't like you asking when he'd be home.

.... ok so what are your expectations of this relationship? Are you both v young? Any kids? Has he always been like this? Finally - how would he react if you behaved the way he did?

AntiHop · 21/08/2025 15:21

If you live together, it's reasonable for you to know where he is. And to have the option to join him on Sunday. So huge red flag. He's nor behaving like someone in a serious relationship.

Lighteningstrikes · 21/08/2025 15:27

It’s shows a huge lack of respect.

He’s got a mobile!

MiloMinderbinder925 · 21/08/2025 15:36

I was like that in my early 20s. I was a bit of a cheesy quaver and was out a lot and quite spontaneous. I would have found someone constantly asking for updates a complete drag.

However, if he's in his 30s and you live together he's being very immature and inconsiderate. He should have let you know when he was coming home.

If he's usually selfish and inconsiderate, I'd finish the relationship.

Ohlifelife · 21/08/2025 21:23

Do you know who he was " having fun" with? Do you know the friend he was staying with and who he was partying with?
It sounds very much as though possibly drugs or other women were reasons for him being absent for 2 nights and almost 2 days.
He definitely hasnt behaved like a partner.
He has treated you as though you really arent important to him at all.

Gonk123 · 21/08/2025 21:25

A bit odd…why weren’t you invited in the sat night out? Did he not clean himself at any point?!

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 21/08/2025 21:28

it's Thursday and you haven't spoken to him - since Sunday's text ?

and you live together ?

or did he not actually come home and is staying elsewhere ?

what has he said since ?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page