Hello,
Bit of a long one, sorry - but looking for advice on what to do. Ive been with my boyfriend now for 3 years, with a house and a baby. Things were going pretty well, but after the baby (who is now almost 2 years), he started being less affectionate and more distant. I tried to speak to him a few times, but didnt get anywhere. In the last few weeks, he has now said - he doesn't feel any emotions for me, or any emotions in general, he doesn't feel happy to come home and see me and my son (not his son), but he is happy to see our daughter. Hes said he doesn't feel close to me, and he often sits and scrolls on his phone in the evenings, and doesnt communicate much. He has little patience, love or interest when talking to me. Sometimes he has good days, others not so much and is more closed off. I can feel this, as emotional distance and its confusing. Whether I try and talk to him, or leave him alone - im constantly wondering how to help or fix this situation. He says I havnt done anything wrong, but he feels overwhelmed, just by my asking for a hug sometimes. Im not too overbearing, as he only recently started giving hugs. Affection has been a big issue in the last year or so. A few months ago, he was bordering abusive (hyper critical, belittling etc), which has improved, but the communication from him is still sharp and impatient.
Our therapist has brought up the possibility of him being depressed. He says he is worried there might be something mentally wrong with him, as to why he cant be loving and kind to the person he is commited too. But this emotional distance has been here for so long. He turns conversations into fights quite often. I think im slowly giving up.... what would you do? Stick around for a little while longer and see what therapy can do? All I know is staying in this house is mentally draining and exhausting.