My girlfriend's avoidant attachment attutide is hurting me

[Akihiro]

I just need some advice because this is really bothering and hurting me. My girlfriend and I have a great relationship, but lately she has become very distant. She texts me reluctantly, gives short, cold and disinterested answers, and distances herself from me. This hasn't happened before, but I see all the signs of an avoidant attachment style, and unfortunately it seems like the honeymoon phase is over since this is leaking out. I have an anxious attachment style, which makes me perceive her behavior very painfully and I think that I am no longer interesting to her, which leads to discomfort in communication, which triggers anxiety, because she doesn't look enthusiastic... I don't know how to tell her about this, because I think she is already tired of manifestations of my anxious attachment ...

You could accept that maybe she just isn’t that into you, decide you’re entitled to way better and let her go to make space in your life for someone with a secure attachment.

This relationship isn't meeting your needs. Move on.

Don’t panic. If this is about attachment style you really must give her space. And that should provide you with a bit of time to take stock.

Be brave and stay out of her way.

Unless you can face a lifetime of this leave and find someone who matches your needs

I thunk you are over complicating things with all this attachment style stuff. She's into you, or she's not.

Your text book phrases are probably ruining the relationship…..

She might be interested in attachment styles and want to work on the relationship. You could suggest couples counseling.

Anxious people can be very needy and the more people back away the clingier they become.

Find a way to manage your anxiety: exercise, journalling, distraction, speak to a friend, therapy, medication etc Otherwise you're going to have this problem in every relationship.

Give your girlfriend space, stop asking her how she feels about you, stop hassling her to text. Mirror her behaviour.

Try to relax and focus on other things.

What's with all the psychological waffle?
She's not that into you. Or, you're way too needy. Possibly both