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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Crush on my child’s doctor

28 replies

Mimosa20 · 20/08/2025 16:00

I’m married and have two kids under 7. One has some health problems so we go to the same peadatrician a few times a year. He’s my age and just very pleasant. I feel somehow attracted to him. At some point he was ordering tests I felt was out of his scope, especially when my child/I hadn’t complained of anything. This was my main reasons why I started thinking what if he also is a little interested in me. He has wife and small kids too. My own husband is a doctor so I don’t think it’s the “caretaker” syndrome I’m effatuated by, but actually him as a person. He’s not a hunk, obviously I think he looks good, but i don’t think he’s the guy who flirts with others just for the giggles. Every time we come from an appointment only thing I do I think about him and I just want to get to know him better. Any advice?

OP posts:
SriouslyWhutNow · 20/08/2025 16:02

You're married with kids. Pull yourself together. What else can anyone say?

Returnofjude · 20/08/2025 16:02

Any advice

you sound lonely, bored and should change doctors before you embarrass yourself and your husband hears about it on the grapevine

Toddlerteaplease · 20/08/2025 16:03

Bit of a jump from ordering tests for your child, to assuming he’s doing it because he fancied you. I would hope, given his job that he’s a genuinely nice and caring person. He’s married and would be risking his family and his entire career.

Bloodymigraines · 20/08/2025 16:03

Hes not yours to have , you are both married for goodness sake.

Eversince · 20/08/2025 16:04

You want advice on how to get to know him better?!

WonderingWanda · 20/08/2025 16:06

Stop being ridiculous, he is not ordering additional tests for your child because he fancies you back.....he doesn't fancy you back!

You are both married with kids anyway so even if you met in a bar and fancied each other it should go no further. Grow up.

InMyShowgirlEra · 20/08/2025 16:06

In the event that you do both fancy each other then you do absolutely nothing. You're both married with kids and you don't actually know each other. Are you asking if you should act on it and destroy multiple lives because you have a little crush?

If you think he's ordering unnecessary tests on a child as a way of furthering a romantic interest in a patient, that is a very serious allegations of unprofessional and illegal behaviour and could get him struck off.

If you genuinely think that's the case you should report it.

DiscoBob · 20/08/2025 16:06

You want to have an affair with your children's married doctor who also has young kids?

I strongly suggest you switch doctors. And try and sort out what's going wrong in your marriage.

Having inappropriate crushes happens. But wishing to act on them could blow yours and their and both your kids and partners' whole world apart. Think about it.

delightfulmusic · 20/08/2025 16:07

He’s probably not the first person who you’ve been attracted to and won’t be the last, you’re both married so it’s a non thing, it will pass.
You don’t need to act on this, it won’t end well.

Mewling · 20/08/2025 16:08

Grim.

moose17 · 20/08/2025 16:09

This got to be a wind-up if not I hope your husband divorces you the first chance he gets.

Early3Rise · 20/08/2025 16:09

If a doctor ordered extra tests on my child because he fancied me I'd not coyly hope he fancied me. I'd be pushing him as to why he's running the tests, and considering raising it as an issue with his superior if they're not appropriate

What a bizarre post

Returnofjude · 20/08/2025 16:14

I sense the Op is considering disgracing herself in front of this doctor

and the doc community is pretty…. Gossipy. So chances are that eventually the doctor husband will find out

Lillibridge · 20/08/2025 16:15

Looks like and acute case of Dr Kildare Syndrome...

abracadabra1980 · 20/08/2025 16:16

Oh grow up.

Original poster
Mimosa20 · 20/08/2025 16:16

I was just hoping to get some tips in how to manage this but people here just want to have a a go. It’s not unusual to people like others despite having a family. That’s exactly my issue.

OP posts:
Sunshineismyfavourite · 20/08/2025 16:17

What should you do? Get your DH to go to all future appointments instead of you or get a grip! Nothing will or can happen.

CatAsstrophe · 20/08/2025 16:21

Mimosa20 · 20/08/2025 16:16

I was just hoping to get some tips in how to manage this but people here just want to have a a go. It’s not unusual to people like others despite having a family. That’s exactly my issue.

How to manage this - go to a different doctor and do not return to see this particular doctor again.

Eversince · 20/08/2025 16:24

Yes if course ‘people like others’ but you are wondering if he is attracted to you and want to get to know him better. You’re not presenting it as if it is a problem.

fthisfthatfeverything · 20/08/2025 16:26

Do you think you’re missing something from your husband?

InMyShowgirlEra · 20/08/2025 16:29

Mimosa20 · 20/08/2025 16:16

I was just hoping to get some tips in how to manage this but people here just want to have a a go. It’s not unusual to people like others despite having a family. That’s exactly my issue.

This is exactly what you seem to be missing.

You're not the first married person to have a crush. Pretty much everyone in a long term relationship or marriage has had a crush.

Maybe you enjoy the confidence boost and perhaps even indulge in a small amount of flirty banter, and then you go back home to your husband and put it out of your mind. You exercise some self-control.

That's it.

In this case you have no wiggle room at all to indulge this. He is legally barred from having a relationship with you. You are dependent on him and his colleagues to care for your children's health. You keep it 100% professional and if you can't do that or he's not doing that, get a different doctor.

80s · 20/08/2025 16:29

Change doctors or stop feeding the crush by allowing yourself to fantasise about him. Remind yourself that you're an adult with responsibilities and that if you started something and your dh found out (which he would eventually), he'd very likely dump you. Decide whether you're happy to risk that, and if you are, get divorced.

Endofyear · 20/08/2025 17:30

What advice are you looking for? Obviously people are going to say pull yourself together, he is married and not available and so are you. Maybe your DH should take the child to appointments from now on.

OchreRaven · 20/08/2025 18:16

What do you want to happen? It sounds like you have limerence. Are you asking for advice on getting over it? Or are you asking for advice on how to tell if he likes you too?

No one here is going to give you tips on furthering your crush when the outcome would likely be highly embarrassing for you and assuming he did fancy you it could destroy multiple families and careers.

Someone close to me is a paediatrician and a lot of people crush on him because of it. But he would never make a move on a parent, even if he wasn’t attached. It would destroy his career. So believe me he will be used to mums getting flustered and batting their eyelashes at him. It will be something he deals with on a daily basis. I highly doubt he ordered unethical tests to get in your pants. It’s hard to judge his motives without the full facts but that scenario is way down on the list.

Instead of worrying about whether he likes you — accept you have a crush, it’s not something you can control but you can take active steps to stop it progressing. Don’t daydream about him, instead imagine him being grouchy with his wife when he gets home. Imagine he has some bad OCD and other negative traits that would annoy you. Then look at your own relationship and consider if there is anything missing. Imagine another woman or patient crushing on your DH and finding him really desirable. Fight for what you want in your current relationship.

You can also air your crush in a way that stifles it. Call him ‘hunky doctor’ or such to your DH as a joke (assuming he’s not sensitive or insecure). Sometimes keeping things in your head creates an intimacy that’s not really there.

MamaElephantMama · 20/08/2025 18:17

You need to focus on your child and why you are at the appointment.