Anyone else trying to not text a situationship?

[Welikebeingcosy]

I thought I needed a support group, so I'm hoping there's other people out there who would like to join.

Funny thing is I was kinda involved in two situationships and the first one has been so much easier to stop texting than the second one. The second one seems to have more of a hook on me. He also owes me some money so it feels in my best interests to keep in touch to keep on top of what I'm owed, but I'm trying to change my mindset to 'if he was going to pay me back, I don't need to keep track it and I just have to let go until he has the money to pay me back'. Not chasing is hard but I'm trying so hard.

It's been a long standing pattern of consistent conversations and phone calls, and then after a few days of consistency he withdraws all of a sudden. So I really need to distance myself completely now and realise he doesn't want anything with me.

Babe, you are never getting that money back. Not unless you end it and he tries to win you back by paying anyway. Which would be ideal. Just take the money and still run.

Mutual friend with benefits relationships can work when both parties are excellent communicators and considerate of the other persons needs and time. This doesn't sound like that. You should never give a man money. No man who respects you would ever even dream of asking for money. And respect is key in a fwb relationship.

Time to shake this guy off. I'd text 'Right so, this has kinda stopped being fun for me so I think, let's call it a day, all the best'. Don't even mention the money. He'll be like wtf and then you go 'mate, I can't even rely on you to pay back the money you owe so how are we supposed to have a healthy fwb relationship'. Then don't respond to anything else he sends. Not a word.

Hopefully he will pay you back. But if he does you still don't reply. Or you to 'Appreciate it but it's still over, all the best, Sarah'.

You gotta play smart if you want your money back. But he's not a keeper for anything else.

Why you giving men money op? That’s just a no from the start. Has he taken advantage of you? You need to make sure this doesn’t happen again

Hey.

I am so lucky to not be in those situations, I feel your pain....!!

Can I ask, what would you really like? A situationship or a proper relationship?

A proper relationship :)

I only lent him because he had helped me in the past when I was homeless and no one else did. I've lent to him since and he's always paid me back.

But maybe him helping me in the past clouded my judgement and made me feel I owed him, when I don't.

Let the money go and don't be lending to anyone again.

Then get out and enjoy the summer. It's a great time to explore on your own anyway. Have break from men. IMO, the only way to find a good one is to know you're absolutely fine on your own and don't need one!

Hiya x

Reading between the lines, you've been homeless, you're lending and borrowing money and you've got your heart on the line with various men....

Read up on boundaries in relationships. If you want to get into a proper relationship, see it like shopping. You have your money ti spend but want to choose wisely. Guard your heart and check people out. If they are not even looking for a relationship, pass them by. I tend to think that the only relationship worth having is the real thing, and he will know you when he claps eyes on you, so if he is not smitten from the start, pass him by as not good enough.

You need stability. And to build safety for yourself.

Would you be interested in any self growth and healing type stuff??

Yeah sure :)

How much does he owe you?

Yep.

Had a bf for 2.5 years something was a miss at 1.5 years he moved in quick like wtraight away as we was homeless. I ended up being the fixer his mum basically he doesnt have one. Anyways hes a cocaine addict. We split in jan and then I met someone else. This was a situationship and ive since realised hes emotionally unavailable and an avoidant. Im a fearful avoidant. I am divorced. Took ex back but not as a relationship he moved out in jan. Drug tested him the other day positive. So done and he texts me still but I dont want any involvement in his life anymore. I then went and slept with the old fwb as a matter of get under to get over. But I do like the emotionally unavailable fwb but not for a relationship but I like the friendship but what I cant do it over text as that will frighten him off and what I dont want to do is have to find another fwb as I cant be doing with the getting to know stage and I dont want a FB.

I've ended it. He had a bit of a meltdown and tried to reel me back in, but I've said my peace and deleted the app which we talk on.

Now the hardest part is sticking with it.

No. But ive been there. Started in Covid when meeting wasnt easy so it ended up a penpal/ barely meeting.

My god all mighty i wish I'd blocked the mother fucker so much earlier.

🥳 🎉 🪅 🎊

Well done 👏

Thank you, I hope I can stick to it.