Do you gift all your kids the same?

[fateisdestined2025]

There’s a family tradition where each child would get gold when they get married. All of my siblings got the same weight of gold including me but it’s come out the youngest was given a certain amount less. My mother told me and looked very guilty.

im quite angry that they did this and hid it. My other sibling who went to get the gold with mum mum said ‘I don’t want to get involved in all that’ when I asked her about it….seems suspicious…

how do I approach it ?

Maybe the value has significantly increased and your parents only had a certain amount to spend. Most things cost more for less quantity these days so gold wouldn't be any different.

It came out that a certain amount of of money was saved and used for other things.

A certain amount of your parents money? Is it not their right to spend their money how they want??

I’m sure your parents did the best they could. Yes ideally your are completely fair to everyone but circumstances change.

If you gift then gift each the same especially if it’s made a point that this will be the only inheritance the kids are getting. It just doesn’t sit right with me that me and my siblings for a lot more than the youngest. I feel like giving my ‘gift’ back. I’m all for fairness.

I was going to suggest that if you felt is was unfair you could share yours. So that's definitely an option. What was the saved amount spent on? Maybe your parents had an unexpected expense.

If think you're being very harsh on your parents. I'm sure it's not unequal for anything other than a good reason.

Is it the same weight or value you're after? Gold prices fluctuate, so the same value might be less weight of gold.

Very judgemental and how hurtful for you to think about giving back your gift. Be grateful and assume that your parents have good reason for this change.

Maybe you and your siblings could give some to your youngest sibling to equalise it?

Why don’t you and your siblings equalise it then?

How much in actual money terms are we talking here?

The reason I ask is that one time I spent a lot of time advising someone what to do about the new kitchen she had got installed into the family home a year before the divorce occured. I invested a lot into that thread! Turns out, it wasn't the Poggenpohl kitchen I had assumed it was but a £3k Ikea kitchen!!!!!

So now before I invest in a thread I ask what the monitary value is.

Are you willing to tell us how much your gold was worth and how much your siblings gold was worth?

Yes thanks I will be going ahead and equalising it to make things fair. I was annoyed that mum and sibling lied about everybody getting it fair. And then 2 years later it came out that less was given.