Lonely

[learningtoliveagain]

Please bear with me,

My life, married at 19, 4 beautiful girls now 29,27,24 and forever 9 lost her in 2008 to Rett Syndrome and I adopted a wonderful son who I lost to Covid when he was only 7.

So me now, grieving both my daughter and son and also now the ending of what would have been a 29 year marriage.
I’ve also suffered with some major health problems and cannot work at the moment due to them.

My son and daughter had complex needs and it was with parents with children like mine that I found friendship. Now after losing my son in 2022 ending my marriage in 2023 I’m finding myself lonely. I have no idea where to go for friendship. Since ending my marriage I have really given myself time to firstly accept my neurodiversity diagnosed with ADHD which believe me has explained a lot. But being part of the complex needs community is too hard. I’m just so broken after my son that I actually get jealous of others and their children I mean how crap is that.

I guess I just don’t know where to start, I’ve seen some women’s groups going on holiday etc that’s not me at the moment. I just want a friend to go for a coffee with, a wander round the shops.

Im not sure why I'm posting I guess I just wanted to see if you have any suggestions.

Are there any local groups for things that interest you? It is much easier to bond with people over common interests and I found it helpful to join a local women's art group - ane made some very good friends from it I am so sorry that you have suffered such heartbreaking losses.

Could you volunteer? You will meet some lovely people and help something you are passionate about. Im so sorry for your losses.

Where do you live?
Maybe people in your area can give you ideas of local groups to join.

Why not join a hobby group. I’m in a ladies walking group and it’s opened up so much fun and friendship for everyone. It’s so welcoming and we do lots of other social activities as well as walking.

I live in a rural village, so I appreciate you may not be the same. There are several things I could do if I was lonely.
First there is a book exchange open 3 times a week, people pop in for a natter, one afternoon there is stay for a cppa and cake and lots of ppl go to that. One local church has coffee and cake 2 hours each week. Other church has Sat morning cafe. There is Mothers Union. You can volunteer to do a shift for the book exchange. Also do over 60s lunch once a month where you can help. Local hospice fund raising group, same for RSPCC.You could volunteer at primary school to listen to kids reading, that would be possibly too painful for you? My daughters both moved to other areas and joined an online site where you match with potential friends.
I also have a dog and meet lots of ppl walking the dog.
I hope you find a connection somewhere, good luck.😊

You’ve been through a lot and it’s hard starting over. Not the same but my husband died last year and I needed something different, so I joined U3A.

There is no age limit, it’s not expensive (less than £20 a year) and you can do things online or go to real life events.

There will be one near you too, and it’s been good. You can do hundreds of different things or just one, you can have one freebie to decide before joining.

Here is the national site, you can search for your local group there. Some groups are more fun than others, but you sound like a lovely person and you’ll find someone to have a coffee with.

https://www.u3a.org.uk