Advice urgently needed.

[9826841]

I'm really scared that my marriage is over, my wife posts on here and she always gets great responses I need some advice as paranoia may drive us apart and I don't know if I need to be feelig this way.

Recently my wife has started going out with a group of old friends one of which is her ex. I've never had a problem with him - and have encouraged my wife to go out with her friends. My wife has started smoking again - on Tuesday evening she came in and brought her work phone in - which she has used twice in three months - we have our own business - I started looking through the phone to play snake (sad I know) she grabbed the phone off me and deleted all the text messages off. She said that she was not texting anybody when another text came through. She explained that it was one of her friends.

I was quite upset with her response as I was not going to go through her messages.

I put two and two together and read into it more than I should.

We have the internet through a portable USB port and we share a lap top - Mumsnet was left on when my wife left the house.

A message jumped out at me and I was devestated to read a thread about 90% accurate about our life and my wifes relationship with her ex and that she didn't want to marry me in the first place. She came in and ripped out the USB port and left the house.

I have spoken to her and she says it is'nt her - which I realy want to believe her - however I couldn't help myself this morning (which I'm angry about myself) I looked at a text that came through on her phone - from her ex asking if she is ok?

My wife has never done anything before and I trust her with my life, I'm I being paranoid?

I'm really very confused.

hi there. i think based on what you say , i know who you and your wife are and i think it might be a better idea to talk to her and to work things through with her.

you are both hurting now,and thrashing it out over the internet with she said/ he said is not going to be very helpful

if you are paranoid and worried then asking for answers here is not going to help, you need to talk to her

there are clearly a lot of issues that you need to resolve together

good luck

You need to sit down and talk with your wife. She should be able to reassure you, if she is going through a questioning phase maybe it is time to overhaul your relationship, give it some attention.
Sometimes it is possible to be flattered and thrown off balance by the attentions of an ex.

I chat to my ex all the time and it is no threat to my marriage. But I have also been threatened by my dh getting texts that I read and were very flirty. And I was in a total huff over them! But we got over it.