Age Gap relationship and effect on teens

[RMN80]

Hi
I am hoping for some words of wisdom on how I manage this situation.
My husband and I are going through a long, drawn out divorce, caused solely by his infidelity throughout our 20 year relationship.
We have 3 children, 1 boy 17 and twin girls who are 13.
Unfortunately my ex (43) has decided to embark on a relationship with a 20 year old girl that works for him, and I am so worried about the impact on our children.
I have begged him to put their needs before his own, but history has taught me that that will not happen.
The girls are already experiencing a few snide comments as the situation is becoming common knowledge, and I am very concerned about what they will suffer when they go back to school in September.
My ex tried, in vain, to keep the relationship a secret, because he is all about image and he knows many people will disapprove, which has already led him to lie about the relationship to many people.
I just need to know how best to protect my children 😔

None of your business I’m afraid. You can’t intervene without looking like a deranged ex. If it’s an unhealthy relationship then your teens will spot ut faster than you will and he will just look a fool
in their eyes. Stay out of it.

You can’t intervene in who he has a relationship with.

What you can do is speak to him and ask that his new girlfriend isn’t introduced to your children in the near future (which is reasonable), and let your girls tell him about the snide comments and how it is affecting them, as that should have a greater effect on him.

If he’s all about image I think they’ll split . An age gap like this is not to be celebrated and I think he’ll tire of the comic nature of it . I can’t imagine her parents will be to enamoured either so difficult times ahead . What was he thinking , it’s creepy . Not so bad if he’s 63 and she’s 40 but as it is they are at totally different life stages

Very little you can do- it’s creepy but up to him. I would flag it to the school if your daughters are getting unpleasant remarks, as you would for any other potential bullying.

You can't protect them from the fallout of his inappropriate behavior with one of his employees.

What you can do is tell your kids to speak to their dad if they are getting nasty remarks or being bullied because of his behaviour. He should be made aware that there's ramifications that don't just affect him.

He's a prime example of what not to be. Sorry that your kids are going to have to deal with that.

Nah that’s still creepy.

It won’t last, just try and smooth it as much as possible for the kids and await the fall out, no 20 year old wants a 40 man for anything other than money and being fussed over , once reality sets in she’ll be off and he will feel like the biggest dickhead ever.

You can't 'protect' your children from their father having a relationship with an adult woman. It's not your business.

FWIW, a close friend of mine has a step-son who is only 10 years younger than her. She's now in her mid-40s and he's in his 30s and they have a fantastic relationship - always have, in fact. When she met her (now) husband, she was 22 and her step-son was 12.

Let it go. Live as best you can. That's becoming way too typical here