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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help, abusive relationship

3 replies

alway · 18/08/2025 17:04

Hello,

I am in am emotionally abusive relationship and sometimes physical. I want to leave with my child but am terrified. He has told me many times that I would never get custody, telling my sister in law he can’t leave because he can’t leave our son with me as I am an incompetent mother. I have at times lashed out at him, pushed him or slapped his chest, I have also screamed at him when my child is in the house, I’m not proud of this but it has been out of exhaustion, constantly been told you are useless and look terrible and demeaned and belittled in front of my son. He has been violent with me many times. And has put massive pressure on sex , and tried to force a blowjob by holding my nose so I open my mouth, after I killed him off he slapped me and called me a bitch, after that he left , and when I told it was assault he said I was mad and needed help. He said I should go to the police and no one would believe me anyway. He is clever and I think he has recorded me when I have lost it, out of context it will look like I’m crazy. He twists and changes things that have happened and invalidates anything I say by saying I am crazy, everyone knows there is something wrong with you and I need to get help. I feel more and more hopeless and can’t see a way out

OP posts:
bluecrochetedplane · 18/08/2025 17:07

Hello, I hope you're ok and safe to post.
I've been in your situation and spoke to womens aid who assisted me with moving into a refuge with my baby.
It was a scary big step and took me a while to gain the strength to do it but it's the best thing I did.
When it's safe to do so give them a call. You won't be pressured into anything. Do not be frightened into staying by thinking he will take your child, absolutely not true.

Good luck, you don't deserve how you're being treated and remember that it isn't your fault. Best of luck x

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/08/2025 17:17

Your relationship is abusive. It sounds physically, emotionally and sexually abusive. You can check here to confirm:
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/im-not-sure-if-my-relationship-is-healthy/

It's highly unlikely he'd get custody, I doubt he's father of the year. Gingerbread have a good helpline where you can ask all your questions regarding co parenting, finances, etc

You can contact Shelter for housing advice and the National Domestic Abuse helpline for advice on leaving safely.

I'm not sure if my relationship is healthy - Women’s Aid

The Survivor’s Handbook provides practical support and information for women experiencing domestic abuse, with simple guidance on every aspect of seeking support.

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/im-not-sure-if-my-relationship-is-healthy/

gratefulmumma · 20/08/2025 14:25

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