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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No help

4 replies

MissJJ19 · 18/08/2025 11:43

Recently ive found that my partner has 0 interest in any of the household chores. Infact I feel as though I now have gained another teenager.
After a few times of dropping hints I finally snapped and told him that I shouldn't be doing everything in our house. He picked up on a few things but this lasted a day or two.
Im now at my wits end and its honestly really effecting me but I dont know if I am overreacting. We both work however im off now for the 6 weeks and have a 15 year old son.
Me being term time is also another reason he will use against why he doesnt help however this isn't just when I'm off work its all the time.
He is the main earner in the house but I feel like he uses this as a reason to basically do nothing because he pays for some of the bigger bills.
Its getting to a stage now where im really unhappy and I dont know how to go about it. Has anyone experienced similar? What did you do?

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 18/08/2025 11:54

Whose house is it you are living in?. Did he move into your home?. Is it jointly rented or does it have a joint mortgage?.

I would send him packing to his mothers. You already have one 15 years old and you do not in addition need a man child.

EvenMoreCrisps · 18/08/2025 11:59

There's no point in him as a boyfriend, he's meant to be making your life easier, fun, and hugely enhanced. That's the only reason to date a man.
Whose property is it? Can you secure your own property and prioritise your financial security, peace, and your child?
Forget the slob.

Also a male doing his half of drudgery is not 'help', that word means it's women's work that males deign to 'help' with, which is misogynistic. Such vile men are not for dating.

frozendaisy · 18/08/2025 11:59

Tell him domestically lazy is becoming increasingly unattractive and boring

Men don’t like to be told they are unsexy and dull

NPET · 18/08/2025 12:19

Well I don't imagine this'll help or even be relevant but it might bring a smile to your face.
At uni, a friend (A) and her boyf decided to move in together. Unfortunately A quickly discovered that he had no knowledge or interest in doing household chores.
Fortunately the old fashioned bathroom needed a key to be locked.
Well, A decided she'd keep the key and not let him have it until he helped out with the flat.
Of course the creep didn't mind the fact that A was wandering into the bathroom when he was in there, BUT when her friends started walking in while he was in the shower or on the toilet, he began to take notice.
According to A, the turning point came when she showed a group of (female and male) friends in while he was drying himself after a bath.
He started cleaning the place the next day!
Of course they broke up about a fortnight later, but A never stops talking about it - and warning her new boyfs!

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