My childs father:
Cheated on his ex with me (I wasn't aware he had a gf)
Cheated on his ex with another ex
Ended our 'relationship' when I fell pregnant
Went behind my back whilst pregnant with my friend and had a secret relationship
Used to argue with me when I brought up how I felt - overdramatic, overthinking, insecure
Argued before going on holiday, ignore me all holiday then expected me to be cool with him upon his return
Threatened to quit his job to avoid paying child support
Did quit his £800 a week job
Has been sat on benefits for 5 months (complains about how he has no money and has to borrow it to give to me for our son)
In a job where he makes no money for 8 months but is waiting for the big break and hasnt tried finding other work
Banned from USA due to drug/weapon offence when he was young adult
Turned many of our mutual 'friends' against me
Used to argue with me over text whilst being nice and normal in person when we were in public or around people
Asks to lower child support but is out partying/socialising (apparantly his friends pay for all of this)
Has 7k of debt on a credit card
Is dating/seeing someone casually yet was trying to get in my pants ( I didnt know he was seeing anyone until later)
Invited me to family events and wanted to do day out with our son when I started seeing someone, but since I have been single he has stopped
Flirting whilst I was seeing someone
Gets annoyed when I call him out on his behaviour, then act like nothin has happened
Is living with cousin and pregnant wife as he has no place of his own
Honestly this is just a half of some examples of his behaviour/character.
The only good thing is that he sees our son every week/every two weeks overnight and loves him.
How is it that I am pretty distraught that hes seeing someone new?
Why have I not been able to fully move on from him?
I have just implemented minimal, dry contact but I have been crying for days. We broke up properly in 2023. Why had he got such a hold over me?
He is very cool, charming, charismatic, funny, well dressed, chilled and devotes ALL his attention to you if he wants you. But why would anyone want to even go near him?? I don't know how he manages to get women - looking back the red flags are very glaringly obvious from the start!
I am feeling so traumatised all over again. I know I shouldn't give a f* what hes doing but I cant help but compare. I cant find a relationship as I cannot attach or form a connection with anyone like I used to. As I am full time mum and part time worker, Im tired to go out and socialise when I am free from my son. Its all so exhausting sometimes.
Signed up for therapy but I know this isnt going to be easy.