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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Revealing too much on a first date 🫣

8 replies

Cherryblossom200 · 17/08/2025 18:39

Hello!

So the title says it all. I think I said too much on my first date with someone.

Met online, been chatting well over a week. He seemed very keen. I was going on holiday and he wanted to chat while I was away, but I shut it down as I wanted to enjoy my holiday and not text someone I’ve never met! Anyway zoom forward we met after I returned, he wanted to pick me up from my home but I said I was happy to drive to our date.

We spent over 3 hours chatting and walking, really nice. We got on well and naturally divulged a lot about our relationships etc. He was possibly a bit more shy than I would be go for and not much banter. However I would have been open to maybe go on a second date.

Where I think I might of messed it up was right at the end, he is a vet and I mentioned that my daughter would like to be a vet but struggles with maths as she has adhd. Then a bit further down the conversation I said that she probably gets the adhd from me 🤣 And that I like to be honest as I prefer things to go slow at the start. I have no idea why I said this, it just blurted out!

I’ve not dated for a while so I’m finding my feet.

I don’t think he will be in touch, he just said a nice good bye with a bit of a coolness. So I doubt I’ll hear anything from him!

ah well, it’s a learning thing and he probably isn’t the right person for me. Ideally I’d like someone I can have a real laugh with x

OP posts:
Missj25 · 17/08/2025 20:34

Cherryblossom200 · 17/08/2025 18:39

Hello!

So the title says it all. I think I said too much on my first date with someone.

Met online, been chatting well over a week. He seemed very keen. I was going on holiday and he wanted to chat while I was away, but I shut it down as I wanted to enjoy my holiday and not text someone I’ve never met! Anyway zoom forward we met after I returned, he wanted to pick me up from my home but I said I was happy to drive to our date.

We spent over 3 hours chatting and walking, really nice. We got on well and naturally divulged a lot about our relationships etc. He was possibly a bit more shy than I would be go for and not much banter. However I would have been open to maybe go on a second date.

Where I think I might of messed it up was right at the end, he is a vet and I mentioned that my daughter would like to be a vet but struggles with maths as she has adhd. Then a bit further down the conversation I said that she probably gets the adhd from me 🤣 And that I like to be honest as I prefer things to go slow at the start. I have no idea why I said this, it just blurted out!

I’ve not dated for a while so I’m finding my feet.

I don’t think he will be in touch, he just said a nice good bye with a bit of a coolness. So I doubt I’ll hear anything from him!

ah well, it’s a learning thing and he probably isn’t the right person for me. Ideally I’d like someone I can have a real laugh with x

Was there chemistry there aswel as getting on well ?
You need both ..
It’s just you only sound half enthused ..

Cherryblossom200 · 17/08/2025 20:38

You’re right. I don’t think there was chemistry there. I didn’t want to rip his clothes off 😬 But in the past when I’ve gone for electric chemistry it’s gone very wrong. So I was trying to go for more of a slow burn this time, looks wise he isn’t my type. But he was really nice, kind and intelligent.

Do you reckon I messed up things by what I said?

OP posts:
Letstheriveranswer · 17/08/2025 20:43

I don't think you over shared really, you've been chatting online for a while. When we have ADHD we tend to blurt things out and panic about it afterwards, I don't think there's anything to panic about. If you don't hear from him I really think it will be the lack of chemistry, not the ADHD or wanting to take things slowly.

Cherryblossom200 · 17/08/2025 20:46

Thank you! This is the problem worn ADHD, it’s tough dating because I do tend to blurt things out and then feel really bad afterwards! I wish I didn’t because dating would be a whole lot easier. Sometimes I do wonder if I will ever meet anyone 😢

OP posts:
Missj25 · 17/08/2025 21:02

Cherryblossom200 · 17/08/2025 20:38

You’re right. I don’t think there was chemistry there. I didn’t want to rip his clothes off 😬 But in the past when I’ve gone for electric chemistry it’s gone very wrong. So I was trying to go for more of a slow burn this time, looks wise he isn’t my type. But he was really nice, kind and intelligent.

Do you reckon I messed up things by what I said?

No I don’t think you messed up things by what you said , what were you only honest 🤷🏻‍♀️..
I have to laugh when I read , “ but he is really nice , kind & intelligent “ 😂 😂 , but OP you don’t fancy him ..
You need both 🤷🏻‍♀️..
I’m also single , but I will not settle ..
I know exactly what you’re saying , the hot guys where it’s Electric, are I’m afraid a lot of the time players , & then the nice guys can be unattractive & no chemistry there with them ..
It’s a balls ..
Very hard to find both , I live in hope though , I want a geuine guy I click with that I’m really sexually attracted to ..
Might be single forever, but like I said , I’m not settling either …x

Cherryblossom200 · 17/08/2025 21:07

Well he just messaged me so I think I didn’t scare him off 🤣

But I do think there isn’t any chemistry. I’m chatting to someone else who is more my type, and already making me laugh. I get the feeling there would be more chemistry with him. But I think I’ll keep things open with the guy I went on a date with today as well.

It’s a numbers game I guess!

OP posts:
RedRock41 · 17/08/2025 21:19

Good luck and enjoy 🍀 OP. Don’t write off vet just yet… keeping your options open (numbers game) deffo the way to go. 🥂

Missj25 · 17/08/2025 21:25

Cherryblossom200 · 17/08/2025 21:07

Well he just messaged me so I think I didn’t scare him off 🤣

But I do think there isn’t any chemistry. I’m chatting to someone else who is more my type, and already making me laugh. I get the feeling there would be more chemistry with him. But I think I’ll keep things open with the guy I went on a date with today as well.

It’s a numbers game I guess!

Now see 🙌😊..
Remember now on line can be completely different to real life , meet new guy sooner rather than later for a coffee , this is good advice I got over the weekend from PPS ..
Chatting to guys for too long where you think you’ve built a deadly connection can be bullshit !
On line is as fake as fuck !.
You’ve mentioned there is no chemistry with guy number one , sure you’ll tire of him, & you don’t want to hurt his feelings either , maybe go on one more date with him, you’ll know then by second date , & meet guy 2 for coffee 🤷🏻‍♀️..
That’s what i would do x

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