On line dating......help please, new to this

[stripeytiger]

I know there have been lots of threads on here about on line dating, but can't seem to find them. I've recently joined Friends Reunited Dating and have had loads of messages, winks etc. Anyone got any general advice, hints, tips to pass on.

In particular would love to hear from anyone who has found happiness through one of these type of sites.

Thanks xx

Anyone??

hi, ive never put message on here before so here goes. ive met a few men from the site one i went out with for 5.5 months some are ok but i think you have to be warey, some seem nice at first but then they end up just wanting one thing

I did online dating through the Guardian, and am still happily with DP who I met that way (years later).

I would just say, be honest about what you're looking for and who you are. And don't spend too long emailing someone before you meet up - a couple of times is enough. And just enjoy!

It's a great way to meet the men who aren't super-confident, and wouldn't chat you up in a pub/club etc.

Thanks. So how long did you exchange messages for before meeting up?

I joined the site just over a week ago and have had about 35 messages, some I have replied to and some not, which I feel a bit guilty about. I feel quite overwhelmed because some of the messages have been so, so lovely, really complimentary about my photo and profile.

What are the e cards?

I started exchanges messages with one guy over the last few days but then he messaged and said should he come over during the day for some "naughtiness" couldn't come in the evening because he had to look after his son. I messaged back and said think we should talk a bit more on line and get to know each other, funnily enough he has gone quiet. Am exchanging messages with 3 or 4 others who seem really nice. Its just having the courage to take that one step further than chatting on line I suppose.

Oh thats interesting tinierclanger, thanks. Glad you found happiness

I think I read somewhere that they generally advise you to exchange at least 50 emails/messages before meeting up. I thought that was a little over the top, but its surprising how they mount up if you start chatting to someone on instant messenger.

One guy in particular sounds really genuine and put in one message that he would like to chat on the phone and put his landline number, but I feel a bit shy especially at my age (43)

Just something from an on lookers' point of view-

my brother who is 44 has been internet dating for about a year. He has become frustrated with women who only seem to want an email relationship! He finds that what he wants if he clicks with someone is a few emails, a few phone chats, then a coffee, somewhere public. He has become bored/disillusioned with women who just seem to want a pen friend and never to meet- he always suggests public places and is def. NOT after one thing- he has never been married and is looking for Miss Right!

So, all I'd say is if you think there is potential, don't wait too long before you meet up- the worst that can happen is a couple of wasted hours over a cup of coffee if you don't get on.

p.s.

Just phone that guy! it's as hard for them- and if you aren't willing to meet them half way, then this type of dating is not for you. be brave.

Me! I met my DP 5 years ago on direct dating and are still going strong! Agree with tinier, you can spend months emailing someone and get on brilliantly, only to find there's no chemistry whatsoever in the flesh (a lot of my friends did this and got a bit disillusioned). Don't waste your time like this.

My advise is that you get out what you put in, be very precise about what personality AND physical traits you require; If you like tall muscular guys with blonde hair say so! It will save having to wade though more unsuitable candidates and help you narrow down the field. Treat it as a bit of a laugh and don't get too disheartened if the first few don't work out. DP was the 5th guy I met - I knew he was The One straight away

Me too, I married my DH in Dec after meeting him on Match.com. We never really made it common knowledge family knew and then at our wedding our best man announced it and read our "alleged" profiles that he had found on the net. It was great.

I would always always encourage people to do this. I was so so busy in my life that i didnt have time to meet anyone really and in bars/clubs i felt people were looking for sex rather than a relationship.

I secind what discantus says, be really clear about what you want and be really honest about yourself otherwise you'll just sift though crap. I found that people would still try their luck and email etc. the hardest thing was that i felt it only polite to email everyone back and then ended up having to fend off people as they quite rightly thought i must be interested. only email people you have the conection with. i emailed by DH for about 4 weeks before meeting him, i knew by his emails i liked him. the only thing i wasnt prepared for was his leicester accent!!!!

good luck, as discantus, i knew mine was The One straight away too. Im now married with a baby on the way. it can work.

Thanks for the replies on here. I have been so side tracked and rather addicted to the dating web site I forgot to come back and check for replies. So thank you.

Great advice from everyone, and yes TheDoctorsWife46, I couldn't agree more, I felt it was polite to email everyone back who has sent a message, felt that if they had taken the trouble then I should at least reply, but I can see now that there really isn't any point, if you don't like their profile/look whatever then no point in giving out the wrong signals.

2 weeks on since joining the site I am in contact with about 6 people regularly. Have already turned down 3 offers to meet up because I felt it was too soon (we had only exchanged a couple of messages and I had a gut feeling they were only after sex). However I think you are right hls there is no point in keep sending message after message and doing nothing about it. One guy who I have been chatting to said that after a while the messaging/emails are not enough, purely because when you are talking about life and finding out about someone it's nice to look at them and gauge their responses and reactions. Thought was quite honest and sweet actually.

Just out of interest- I did post earlier, but name changed for other reasons on a previous post.

What is etiquette in all of this? A friend has been winked at/favourited, emailed the person, but no email back- they are annoyed- and feel it's bad mannered.

I said not to be so serious- they mayhave just changed your mind.

Do you think everyone should reply to every initial email if they have initiated the contact?

changed their minds