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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My (23F) girlfriend (22F) seems to be losing interest in our relationship or am I just being paranoid?

8 replies

RickyBryce · 17/08/2025 13:39

I want to start by saying that I love my girlfriend very much. There are no words to express everything I feel about her. She is my most precious, valuable and close person, and the thought that I could lose her scares me a lot. Our relationship started off great - she was very enthusiastic and bright in communication, constantly initiating conversations that lasted for hours, was very supportive, joked, everything felt relaxed, we constantly talked about how much we loved each other, that we were made for each other and how we wanted to build a future together. It really was the perfect relationship that I imagined as a lonely teenager. An incredibly healthy relationship, in which both parties invested equally. But lately this seems to have changed,

A couple of weeks ago, she suddenly became distant and turned into a dry texter. It seemed to me that she began to answer without enthusiasm and desire, as if she was answering just for the sake of it. The communication itself became somehow passive. I try to fix this and write the same way as before, but in response she writes only a few words, without expressing any interest in what I write and tell. If I write several messages, she will very briefly answer only the last one, ignoring all the others, often limiting herself to a single "lol" ... I also stopped feeling and receiving support regarding my health and job, to which she also responds dry. I am now the only one showing interest in communication, enthusiasm and care in our relationship. I am the only one giving compliments. She regularly tells me that she loves me, but I just ... don't feel it. Compared to how it was before, it seems cold, and again looks like just words for the sake of it. At the same time, everything seems normal on dates. She smiles, we kiss and hug, talk. However, there are noticeable changes here too. Previously, she was very enthusiastic about every meeting and was bursting with joy, but now her reaction is pretty much indifferent and I am sure that if I do not offer to go out, she will not say anything and will not offer it herself.

She is often online, but does not write to me. This suggests that I am the only one with whom she communicates with such a disinterested manner. She can also ignore my texts. This does not happen very often, but it happens, and it is noticeable that she is texting someone else at the same time as me and gives this someone else more preference than me. I do not suspect her of cheating and I know that she chats with her friends. As a person who despises cheating and people who cheat on their partners, she is definitely not like that. But I strongly suspect her of losing interest in me and allowing our relationship to cease to be a priority for her. Because of all these dry texts and passive replies, sometimes I feel uncomfortable starting a conversation with her and I can't get rid of the thought that I'm imposing myself on her. Mentally, it's killing me, I've been feeling very depressed and down lately. It's sad to realize that I'm in a relationship but I feel lonely.

I know that I'm insecure and anxious. I have problems with this. But in this case, it looks like it's not about my GAD and nervous thoughts... I just don't know what to do anymore. I try to be communicative and have expressed my concerns a couple of times, but every time she says that everything is fine, and every time I think that it is not sincere and she is distancing herself from me.

TL;DR: my girlfriend has become distant and doesn't seem to be interested in me and our relationship as before, with me being the only one who invests in the relationship, but does not receive the same in return.

OP posts:
Givemeanamethen · 17/08/2025 13:44

What has she said when you’ve asked her about it?

RickyBryce · 17/08/2025 13:48

Givemeanamethen · 17/08/2025 13:44

What has she said when you’ve asked her about it?

She said that everything is fine, that she loves me and that her feelings for me have not dried up, but her behavior in recent weeks makes me think otherwise.

OP posts:
tripleginandtonic · 17/08/2025 13:52

You are way too intense OP. It's probably nothing to do with you if indeed there has been a change in how she's being.

Leedsmum86 · 17/08/2025 13:55

Give the same energy back. Do you think she's talking to someone else? Its seems like she's losing interest i would without a doubt do some digging.

Lmnop22 · 17/08/2025 13:56

I would stop carrying the team and see if she steps up. Don’t text first, compliment first, say I love you first or initiate plans first. If she doesn’t pick up the slack and initiate then you have your answer!

Radiowaawaa · 17/08/2025 13:57

I (F47324841) think that it’s a lot.

Ticktockwatchclock · 17/08/2025 14:02

Radiowaawaa · 17/08/2025 13:57

I (F47324841) think that it’s a lot.

What does this mean?

Silverfoxlady · 17/08/2025 14:59

I would agree - maybe it is time to just step back a little, giving her a little space. Don’t message her so much, and see when she contacts you herself.

If she is serious about you, she will come back - she might just be busy with other things (job / friends / things). If she is into someone else, then the distance will give you both time to figure things out.

If this is the case, there is nothing more soul-destroying than chasing someone in a relationship who is just not into you anymore. Been there, done that!

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