How the lack of physical affection in a relationship makes me feel

[Beastlybeautiful]

How the lack of physical affection in a relationship makes me feel.

It feels like having the whole world in your hands but still feeling empty inside. He gives you stability, comfort, even protection—yet when the lights go out and the day quiets down, there’s a silence between you that no gift can fill.

It’s like being dressed in gold but longing for warmth. Like sitting at a full table but still starving.

Because in the end, what the heart aches for isn’t what money or gestures can buy—it’s that soft presence, the understanding, the words that make you feel safe and seen. And without that, everything else feels half-lived.

The guilt is overwhelming, consuming even.. why feel this way if he gives you everything else? The financial support, the perfect father to my kids, the grafter and the one that picks up the pieces when the house is broken.

At times I ask myself…. What makes you crave the love so much? The need to be held, the need to be hugged and the need to be felt as though you’re the centre of his universe.

Settle, he gives the support a mother needs.

Settle, he gives you the finance a wife needs.

I guess if you can both cope with the lack of affection then that’s all that matters. Though you sound unhappy. Does he feel the same? Perhaps an open chat is on the cards.

If it’s a physical issue for him then there’s medication to help. If it’s that one of you has stopped feeling physically attracted to the other, then that’s something which is much more difficult.

I guess it comes down to what you’re expecting for the rest of your life - how do you expect it to look?

Sorry just to clarify, I’m not speaking about sex, more the general hug or cuddle or daily affection

I’ve had the guy who made me feel like I was the centre of his universe - he was obsessive and stifling, so it’s not quite what I wanted. But I understand needing to feel loved, and having a partner who lets me love him (and it’s wonderful when it’s reciprocal). I don’t think any amount of money would make me settle for less (though money does smooth the way - particularly if you’re reliant on him to be the provider). I really feel for you.

I know. It’s the daily little gestures - hugs, kisses, I like to spoon at bedtime. Holding hands whilst out. Just little acts of affection. I missed all of that when I was single, more that than sex.

Has your H ever been like that?

I think during the honeymoon phase, now we have two kids. We got married when I was 19 and he was 22. Now I’m 24 and he’s 27, I’m not sure if it’s the pressure of having a 3 year old and 9 month old or if it’s just him becoming like that in general

This is something I struggle with as a man.

When I first got together with my wife I was all over her. Good sex life, big romantic gestures, lots of physical affection.

We have been together for 11 years and I have neglected the affection side of things recently to the point she has commented on it.

The truth is, I love her more than ever but I had simply become complacent. After a long day when I'm tired, sometimes I just want to switch off and disengage but I realise that she needs that reassurance so I am making a conscious effort to be there for her.

Please don't despair.

Vocalise your feelings. He may simply be trapped in his own bubble with his own stresses and worries. He probably wants to reconnect with you as well but simply doesn't know how. Don't fight him on this, just speak to him and take it from there.

Don't worry about it to much my hubby a bit like this and it's because he is mentally tired from work and our kids but if I give him a quick word now and then he will go back to it. It's literally nothing more as I know he adores me more than before we got married and me him.

You got married very young