Husband finds escorts

[Heyheyheu]

Hey everyone. First post here. Will try to keep this concise. This all happened yesterday. My husband lent me his laptop to connect to a zoom class. I used this same laptop one week before. For this, I searched in the browsing history something regarding last week's studies. When typing in the search bar of his history, some pages came up in Portuguese regarding escorts. I speak Spanish so I could make it out. For context my husband goes by himself to Brasil every month for work.

My whole body started trembling. Alongside this, I saw pages of porn. This doesn't upset me that much. I get it, it's natural, we're all human. But the escorting paging made me sick to my stomach. I thought I was going to faint. After finding these initial pages, I started browsing his whole internet history and saw that every time he went away, we searched for escorts in his area in Brasil. It was like clockwork. He'd land, book his car and search for an escort.. In my opinion, we otherwise have a very healthy and happy relationship, or so I thought. I felt very comfortable and loved by him. He was my everything. I am absolutely heartbroken. For added soreness, we have a 16 week old baby and the last time he accessed these sites were 33 days ago. Also, he had done some blood test at a laboratory in Brasil in June 2025.

I confronted him there and then. I whatsapped him whilst he was at work. He insisted on coming home to talk about it. One he came, I blew up. He's denying ever using their services, but just looking at the pages out of curiosity (let me just add, whilst away, he accessed many different pages and also looked up specific people and their contact details). I confronted him about the blood work too, he admits it and tries to reassure me that all came back normal. I insisted on seeing the results, but apparently he can't access them because he doesn't have the username and password.

I kicked him out of the flat yesterday and make him leave his key. I am fine and is the baby. But I feel so alone and so betrayed and ever so lost. Please help.

Thank you for reading.

I’m so sorry. What a pig. Well done for being strong enough to kick the bastard out. When you can manage it, you need to get yourself tested.

Oh I’m sorry you’ve got enough to manage with a newborn
Are you safe? Are you ok financially? Is house in joint names? Do you have joint accounts, I’d get the money out to protect you and children

Go to GUM clinic staff will be kind and attentive
let your GP and health visitor know what’s going on for support and short term medication necessary
What do you want to do?

Hello everyone. First of all, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time in replying to my message, I am so appreciative of my thoughts and feelings being validated. Secondly, I've taken the exams, all came back clear, as did his (thank God). We have fought, spoken, I told him I need my space, he respected my decisions. Baby and I are now with my parents (they are wonderful). I told him we'll be in touch, until then, I need to heal. He promised me that he'd work on himself: going to church, going to a psychologist, spending more time at work (it's a family business). So, I guess I'll just have to see how it pans out. I am stable right now. From time to time I get into floods of tears, but I feel optimistic. Baby is excellent, smiling and happy as usual.

The flat is in my name, with one bank joint account. Financially, I am safe and not dependant on him.

He wouldn’t have got the help and changed if you hadn’t caught him. He’d have carried on. Which means he’s only sorry he was caught not for what he was doing.

No amount of church or psychotherapy will change the fact that he wanted to and did cheat on you and use women as a commodity.

Has he told you WHY he had bloodwork in Brazil?
Not thati t matters now but for context.

I understand. Damn, I don't know what to say to this.

He's a health care professional. I've been telling him for a while to get routine checks. He never really showed interest in what I said at the time about it. So to have seen it on the history and for him to have not said anything, was strange and suspicious behaviour.

I’m glad you have support and are doing ok. It’s great you are not dependent on him.

Ultimately you have to decide whether you will ever trust him again — not just whether he will actually do it again. Every time he is away will you be anxious, scared and depressed wondering what he is doing? Because the truth is you will never know. He was sloppy to leave it all on his history. He can easily hide it if he needs to.

He’s either addicted to escorts or he felt no remorse for using women and cheating on you while pregnant and exposing you and your baby to diseases which could have harmed you both for the rest of your life. Really think about that. Because although you may want to go back — there is no coming back from that. If you move forward it will be a new relationship where you now know his true nature. Can you really feel the same about someone who did that to you and your child? He should see a psychologist so he can attempt to become a better person but that doesn’t entail that the damage done to your relationship can be fixed. He’ll always be a father to your child but don’t waste your life on someone who can lie, cheat and harm their family.

Hey everyone, sorry to have kept you in the dark. Update: he denied, denied, denied. I decided to take him back. Soon enough, I felt the difference he was making, I could see a change, things felt like they were improving for the most part. But deep inside, I wasn't satisfied with the little I thought I knew. I knew to trust my instinct and well, I had been secretly spying on him for the past month. When I was by myself, I'd experience a wave of sadness, paranoia and anxiety. During these times, I'd go onto his laptop without him knowing. I felt like it was the only thing to help calm the storm in my head. Long story short, today, I go onto his Instagram. I am meticulously looking for God knows what, but I know deep inside, there must be something. I found a message and call from him to a motel's Instagram page. The motel itself advertises itself as a pay per hour sort of place, even posts with condomns and thematic rooms. Anyway, I take a photo and confront him a few hours later when he arrived home from work. First he denied (obviously), but then he admitted that he had been with two escorts.

Moral of the story, trust your intuition ladies. If something doesn't seem right, it most probably is not.

The truth is, the relationship was doomed from the moment I found out the first time. I may have forgiven him then, but I was never going to forget.

He’s gone, there’s no way back from this. It will be hard but it’s all on him. Congratulations for making a stand, you will have a better future for it.

they always deny it. I’m so glad you’ve got the confirmation you need. I think everyone who has read this thread could see that he’s a liar and obviously it’s routine for him to do. He’s only sorry he got caught sadly.

Thank you everyone for the love ❤️ I'm sad, but I feel at peace. He's gone and he won't be coming back.

You gave him a chance and he lied again. Now you know you will never be able to trust a word he says, you can get on with your life and your lovely baby. Some women put up with this behaviour for years because they’re afraid of being alone. Sending strength 💪

So sorry you sre going through this.

Sorry this has happened to you, sending strength and love! Hope you are enjoying motherhood and not letting this impact your joy!