WWYD? Our married friends seem totally enmeshed...

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We have some good friends - a retired couple in their 60s. We've known them for ages. But they seem to have some weird 'rules' in their marriage which affect our wider friendship - the main one being that they always spend weekends together.
I understand when the DH was working he was often away in the week, so weekends were 'protected time' for them, but now they're retired they have total flexibility.

So....
The wife is going away on a midweek (Tues-Fri) yoga retreat for a few days with friends, so my DH asked her DH if he fancied a couple of days away on a 'boys trip' doing some hiking/ cycling stuff. He agreed. Getting dates they could both do was a bit tricky but eventually they found a Sat evening to Tues they could both do, and DH booked some accommodation.
Meanwhile, knowing I'd have some 'DH-free' time I booked things in to do - see friends & family etc.

Anyway, the wife has now kicked off, saying because it starts on a weekend she wants to go too, until the Monday evening! It seems they have had a big row about it (because... 'rules'!)
Poor DH is now annoyed as he was looking forward to a boys trip.
The other DH doesn't seem to get to say no she can't and is instead saying I should now go too (but I have made other plans and don't want to!).
DH doesn't want to go if it's the three of them, as he says it will totally change the dynamic.

WWYD?

Haha that’s a good way of describing it. Spending time / nurturing friendships is obviously far below their list of priorities

I would tell your dh to cancel and not see them again

I think they are very strange. Being retired with lots of time together, my husband could go away anytime he wanted ( I love a bit of time on my own in the house) and so could I.
I once invited my sister, who is single, to stay. When we were discussing when she could come, she told me she probably shouldn’t come at the weekend because her friend told her that was couples time. I told her that was a stupid idea.

Some people are soft as shit. Don’t have any backbone.

I have friends like this. It doesn’t seem abusive but it does seem suffocating from my perspective. She and I have a monthly lunch date and recently she asked what my DH was doing today and I said, “not sure. Haven’t seen him as I was up early running around.” She seemed worried that I hadn't checked in on him between 7 am and noon. He’s not ill, old or vulnerable. No idea why I’d check on a grown-ass man every hour who is a fully functioning adult.

I can't understanding why there is a discussion? Surely, your DH would say 'No worries mate, let's do it another time as I don't want to be a third wheel. Next time let's arrange a boys' break.'

Why would he consider going now? I'm lost, perhaps I missed something.

No, you certainly should not go as you made plans and it would excuse their bizarre behaviour.

Yeah that would be a hard no from me too. Don't cancel your plans and if I were your DH I would pull out and say sorry mate but this isn't the boys weekend I signed up for. The other wife clearly doesn't trust her DH!

Your DH should just cancel and leave them to it. It all sounds ridiculous. Definitely don’t change your plans. She sounds a right old bossy boots. She’s invited herself to her husbands weekend away and is now trying to tell your DH what to do too. He needs to cancel!