Relationship break up

[Leedsmum86]

So it will be one week tomorrow that I broke up with my partner we would have been together 2 years in October this year we were on and off as we did have a little bit of a problem. I think he brought his insecurities into our relationship and it got to the point where he was continuously accusing me of cheating on him even though I wasn't. The love was mutual I think it was just trusting and loyalty it was really annoying me when he was continuously accusing me of messaging other men behind his back I told him that all I wanted in life was kids marriage house together and to live happily ever after basically just like anybody else it was like trying to find a needle in a haystack getting him to change his ways I really love him but then I discovered he's now on dating site and he's put on his profile that he's looking for a short-term relationship but he's fine with long term I mean how can people do that after six days of breaking up and claiming that you loved them

This isn't love. Love is trust and pulling together in the same direction. It doesn't sound like you had either with this person. It was a pretty short on off relationship, you have much much better relationships to come. Be very pleased that you're not stuck with this one.

It just makes me feel sad. I thought he was the one for me. I dont understand how someone who claims to love you can go on dating sites. Its the healing part I struggle with

You are not alone. Finished with partner of 28 months and last week he was messaging declaring undying love, asking for us to get back together...while on tinder with a pic of him and his daughter I took at Christmas.

Ironically I called it off for dishonesty. He hasn't learned.

The type who keep accusing you of cheating are doing so because they are most likely doing it themselves.

You projected the man and life you wanted onto this guy but he wasn't and isn't that guy. You even saw that somewhat and wanted him to change. He isn't going to change and expecting him to, nope.

Men who accuse you of cheating don't love you, they want someone they can control. It can also be a deflection from their own behaviour, like he was cheating.

He can go on dating sites because he's looking for another woman to control.

You need to do some research into red flags in men. You missed some glaring ones there like being on and off and his constantly accusing you of cheating.

Just a different perspective, long before I was over my ex or ready to date, I made online dating profiles because they made me feel better about myself. A little bit of interest and attention stopped me feeling so downtrodden (he left for affair partner). I didn’t actually meet anyone but sometimes talking to strangers and getting a few compliments just helps after a break up!

Ive definitely had the piss ripped out of me. I was too nice to him and the thanks I get is this. I think he was doing all this cheating himself

People do that all the time. Both male and female. He wasn’t the one for you, however much you might have wanted him to be.
Hes probably looking for an ego boost. Or his next fling. Either way you can’t control his behaviour. Focus on healing yourself and moving on to recognise any red flags earlier next time.

Ive always seen it was the bad ones get the right treatment. The good suffer for what being nice. I genuinely thought he was the one for me. I miss him but sadly hes not bothered by his actions.

And he's found you on Tinder too according to your other thread.