If you bickered often with you partner before children- what was it like when children came along?

[Ketytab]

Just that really.
me and my partner bicker a lot- over silly things like shopping, dinners, cleaning etc. it’s weekly at this stage but can run on for a few days.
I worry then if we have children will this only get worse, has anyone any experience of this?

DH and I didn't fight prior to kids at all. We're 12 years into parenthood and we now bicker. Not a lot, but particularly in the early days, it was bad at times. Kids test even the most solid of relationships. It's good that you are giving this some thought now.

We bickered a small amount before. Now we bicker 20 times more. All the time. All, the, time.

I would pick someone calm, kind and supportive if I were you! Not an argumentative soul

It got much much worse. Bickering turned into screaming rows and massive resentment. If you bicker regularly, it's not a good relationship. Sorry but that's fact. I left him before DS was 3 because I didn't want him growing up in that toxicity.

It got much much worse. Bickering turned into screaming rows and massive resentment. If you bicker regularly, it's not a good relationship. Sorry but that's fact. I left him before DS was 3 because I didn't want him growing up in that toxicity.

@Ketytab Use a bit of common sense OP. Do you honestly think that chucking a couple of screaming, needy little human beings into the mix is actually going to improve things! I mean, get real.

Do not have children with a man who stops talking to you for days at a time. Bickering is bad but silent treatment is much more damaging for a child, and he'll do it to both of you. The lack of sleep, stress and fear in the early days will make all your resentments and frustrations with each other so much worse. He will get worse, you will be miserable, your child will be miserable, and in an effort to shield your child from a horrible atmosphere between the two of you, you will completely lose yourself trying to keep the man on an even keel so he doesn't behave badly and upset the child. This will basically give him free reign to behave like an absolute twat while you supress your own rage to try to maintain a calm atmosphere.

You will look back and wonder why the fuck you decided to do this to yourself. You will hate yourself for deciding to have kids with him.

I was the child of bickering parents. Do NOT have children together .....

Me too. It’s a horrible atmosphere to grow up in and it affects you deeply in lasting ways.

Bickering is a sign that communication in the relationship is not good/constructive. As a twice-divorced parent (children from two marriages) I would not recommend having children with someone with whom you don’t communicate well over contentious issues.