Is this gaslighting ?

[Ifeelbroken]

I’ve been with my partner for over 10 years . We’ve had ups and downs . As of late more downs.
But here’s why I’m posting ,

we could be having a chat or discussion about something which could turn into a more heated discussion if you like. I will say my opinion and he will say his. Surely that will be it. Conversation over.

No not him.
He shouts at me tells me I have a bad attitude in this im that he can’t be bothered with me he doesn’t know why he’s with me etc.

This all started about a situation with our child. Basically I have 3 children, one of which is 2 and he’s poorly . So my friend offered to pick up my son to take him to football as her son is on the same team. Happy days.
Or not.
He told me I shouldn’t have left him and I’m a bad parent and I should have gone with him . I simply stated I thought he was wrong and that he was fine I know he’s fine cos I was getting regular updates and I trust these people and there in the same class at school and was literally for an hour.
Apperently cos I don’t agree with him I have bad attitude and I’m this and that bla bla bla.

honestly what the hell is going on? Am I missing something l?

Baring in mind this is the second time he’s done it this week.
The first time I was p*d off because of something else wasn’t even to do with him. I wasn’t allowed to be cos he accused me then of having an attitude and didn’t talk to me for 3 days.

Does anyone have any advice or experience or just a wall I can smash my head into please 🙃

He is abusive, but it isn't gaslighting.

Next time he says 'I don't know why I'm with you' say 'well go then!'

He's saying that to push you to apologise and beg him to stay. Don't go along with that. He sounds like a right moaner who can't cope with a woman having her own opinion.

No I did last week even though I didn’t do anything just to clear the atmosphere and didn’t work . He just said I was pathetic . Im the first to admit when I’m wrong but I know I haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve gone from crying and being upset to now being like wtaf 🤷🏻‍♀️

He's not gaslighting you. Gaslighting is where someone tries to make you doubt your own sense of reality.

Agreed. This man is just being a cunt. No gas lighting though.

Well I’ve just seen him comment on other girls TikTok videos , one with the 🥵 emoji and one saying she’s so beautiful , but apperently he didn’t jr wasn’t him , then he deleted his account and said it was my fault he done it 😔

Oh, ditch him. You deserve better. Alone is better.

Our kids will be set an example.
not his example.

you don't need some fancy modern term or phrase, but it does sounds like he's verbally and emotionally abusive.
simply being unhappy is a good enough reason to move on.

Sorry OP but he just sounds like an arsehole. Why didn't he take your son to football if he disagrees with your friend doing it? What did he expect you to do, drag a poorly 2 year old out with you to football? He sounds overly critical and the shouting and name calling is abusive.

Do you have a joint mortgage? How easy would it be for you to leave? Can you start making a plan?

Just seen your update about him commenting on other women's social media 😡 please just leave him, you deserve so much better!

Sounds horrible. Maybe he’s like my ex husband. Whenever he formed an “opinion “ , he just couldn’t get his head round why I didn’t immediately agree with him. He seemed to think the fact he’d had “a thought “ was an achievement, a pat on the back was needed. Good boy, etc. Turned out he was just massively, and mind numbingly stupid/thick.