Dating……. Wtf is going on.

[Lifesforloving1]

So I’ve been seeing someone for around three months now and just started staying over each other’s houses and previous to that meeting up twice a week. Just recently I asked him what are we? As in are we in a relationship or is this still seeing each other to get some clarity because he keeps talking about doing couple of things ect. And he replies well it’s dating isn’t it until a discussion is made but then that makes pressure on things ? I asked him what he meant and he said he feels like going slow is just the right thing to do right now which I replied that’s fine but at some point I do want to know where I stand ? He also at the beginning made a big effort with my family having cups of tea ect and I feel like now he doesn’t really want to bother doing that. I came out of her 11 year relationship so I’m not really sure if this is what people do these days just date or am I just being loaded up the garden path kind of thing ?

He’s not that into you.

I’d say he’s keeping his options open in case he gets another offer.

3 months is long enough to decide if you’re in a relationship or not - the fact he’s non committal is a sign he’s not that into you tbh.

Nope he's not for you , he's holding back 3 months to decide. I would look out for another chap

It does sound like he's holding out for a better offer. But in reality, I think it's you that deserves the better offer. I wouldn't waste anymore time on this man.

To quote the old MN trueism - he's showing you who he is. Believe him. This is not a man who is showing he's really into you.

Probably a lot of men do this but that doesn't matter.

You deserve better than some lukewarm rambling about pressure when you ask a reasonable adult question about whether the relationship is worth pursuing.

I think he's given you his answer & I'd be waving him off with no pressure to hold him back from his jetsetter lifestyle.

I always says a man is with you until something better comes along. How much better option B has to be (for the man to leave you) depends on how entrenched the man is. Wife, kids, house etc, = high pull is required (to leave).
In your case the pull = very low.

He is not completely invested. In relationships you try 'people on' but some men are better at doing the decent thing and being open about it when it is not working for them.

Accept the relationship as a lightweight filler before you find something better. He is...

If I’d been asked 3 months into my last relationship about this I’d have been all in. Not considering anyone else, and expecting a relationship to develop over time. Didn’t wait 3 months to stay over either.
But we never had that conversation because we both knew and felt the same.
I think if you need to ask then there’s a level of uncertainty there.
His non committal response tells you what PP’s have said. He’s not that into you and just filling his time until someone better comes along.

Oh god op your only asking if your friendship is more, or does he want to see other people, if so he needs to say, or by answering as he has does that mean this,
It's OK for you to end this otherwise op,
You can not make plans moving forward with him, like, short breaks away, holidays, Xmas, birthdays,

Good luck op, i hope he can be honest with you, that's the least he can do, he might not know what he wants but the surely you will by just that answer,