I have a lot of insecurities, with my weight being the biggest one. I tend to comfort eat a lot. I’ve tried losing weight before but never really made it happen. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. Right now, I feel like I’ve hit a wall and I’m totally lost on where to begin. I don’t think I’m that pretty either. I can be pretty negative sometimes. I know it. I try to stay positive, but since I’m not happy with myself, it’s tough to keep that up. I can be upbeat for a bit, but then I slip back into negativity. I often see the downside of life. I’ve been used for sex by men a lot in the past.
My partner is the sweetest, most loving, and caring person I’ve ever known. He’s got a heart of gold and would do anything for me. He’s reassured me countless times that he loves me and wants to be with me. I’ve never worried that he’d cheat, but I know he finds other women attractive, which is obviously normal. Honestly, I think he could do a lot better than me.
Lately, I’ve noticed that I keep nitpicking at things he says. Sometimes I don’t even realise I’m doing it. He’d never say it, but I’m sure he gets tired of having to reassure me all the time and explain himself. I know it’s not fair, and I feel so guilty because he deserves more from me. I really don’t want to lose him, but I can’t shake the feeling that he might eventually get fed up (if he hasn’t already) and leave me or cheat. But I don’t think I can be better and truly happy in a relationship until I find happiness within myself. As much as it hurts, I think I should let him go.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you