My "work bestie" told me he is in love with me during a recent night out and now he seems to be avoiding me like the plague!
I'm married, which he is fully aware of, he even knows my hubby quite well. He is single. Bestie and I have been good friends for 4 years. He has always been quite a flirty guy, with every girl, so I never saw this as "special" when he would say things to me. We'd laugh it off and move on. But during a night out, he told me he was in love with me. Said he comes in to work more than an hour before he needs to start just to see me. Being me, I laughed it off thinking it was just another of his jokes, but his mood changed, he snapped a little saying "I never take him seriously". I then realised he wasn't messing around and listened to him. He told me he's been on dates but all he does it talk about me, he thinks about me all the time, etc etc etc. Don't get me wrong, he's a great looking guy and I'm flattered, but im married and there's just no way anything would happen. I told him I cared about him and I was sorry I laughed, I didn't realise the seriousness of the convo. He kinds brushed it off and we headed in to another bar. I left soon after and nothing got said.
Fast forward to the next day at work, all seems OK, he says hi etc but it seems a bit odd. I put it down to me feeling awkward. End of the day, a couple of us go for a drink after work and he follows. After 1 drink he storms off. Worried, I contact him to ask if he's OK and he ignores it. On my way home I notice he is at the office. I stop by to ask if he's OK and he laughs it off saying he's fine and was just winding me up. I felt I needed to clear the air and asked if we were OK. He asked me why we wouldn't be, so I brought up the weekend. To which he claims he didn't remember a thing. Now we had been drinking, but at this point we were only 4 drinks in, 5 at most, and certainly not at the "not remembering stage"
I didn't want to embarrass myself nor him so I didn't repeat what got said. He apologised for anything he said out of turn, gave me a hug and I left. Within 10 mins I get a message from a mutual friend asking if I'm OK because he just rang her to tell her he messed up and said something he shouldn't have.
Since then, out friendship has changed. He never comes in to the office anymore, if he does its a flying visit, we don't talk in or outside of work, every communication we had has stopped and I feel awful.
I've had people tell me he is out.of order for telling me that if he does feel that way, accusing him of gaslighting, all sorts. All I care about is that I feel ive lost a good friend. I don't know if bringing it up with him would help or make things worse. Did I bruise his ego? Does he genuinely feel he stepped out of line and is now backing off? Or did he try it on and get shot down?! How can I find out without damaging what little friendship we may have left? Or do I just ignore it?